His Silver Eyes
by Dr. Composed
Summary: You were everything I hated most, and everything I came to love. But that thing inside you threatened it all. Yullen. Kanda's POV, 1st person. Semi-AU. 14th!Allen and references to Alma.
1. Prologue: Beautiful Disaster

**The first chapter--er, prologue, not really chapter ^_^;--of my most epic amazing story ever. Originally written for the DGM Big Bang challenge on livejournal, so there is accompanying fanart (=DDDD) which I will post in a link to my profile once the chapter each picture is in goes up. Or something. Not quite sure yet. BUT. **

**This story is shamelessly Yullen-y. I regret nothing. xD Slight to major angst (it grows as the story moves forward), lots of flashbacks to the manga (and also to other things not in the manga, but of my OWN making, thank you very much), heavy focus on the 14th, major spoilers of the plot through the Timothy arc, and vague mentions of plot thereafter (namely regarding Alma, and Kanda's past in general). Kanda's POV, 1st person. I would like to thank that genius of Japanese artistry, the lovely and talented Hoshino Katsura for the creation of -Man. =D**

**This story is already finished, so I should be able to post a chapter a week (though there will be a prologue and a first chapter this week, since I love you and I'm proud of this fic and I'm ecstatic to be kicking off my presentation of it ^_^). **

**Summary: I hated you. You were weak, and naive, always blundering in at just the right moment, sacrificing yourself for the most inconsequential life. You represented everything I despised... But when your glittering silver eyes fell on me, warmth uncoiled in my chest; and when they flashed gold, my breathing constricted, and I would do anything to bring you back. I hated you... so why couldn't I let you go? **

Prologue – His Silver Eyes, Beautiful Disaster

_I knew it back then, in that domed cavern far below ground. My blood boiled with rage. _

"_Don't you have _anything_ dear to you!?"_

_His eyes, empty, gleamed silver in the darkness. His smile was lifeless, his limbs limp with the pain of his unhealed wounds. Even as he said the words, I knew he was far away. _

"_What was dear to me...I lost long ago."_

~*~

The sky exploded.

"You idiot, run!" I barked, pushing off the ground and leaping a good twenty feet in the air. In my hand, Mugen glinted, sunlight reflecting off of it like the spark before the blaze. I brought the hilt to my front and grasped it firmly in both hands.

My strike was quick, but it did its job; as I touched back down, the two halves of the level one akuma exploded. Gray dust rained down around me.

I whirled to face my partner, fury searing through my veins. "What the hell was that!?" I demanded. "Can't you even defend yourself against a fucking level one!? I've told you before, I'm not here to clean up after you!"

The short boy whirled around, snowy locks of hair jumping into motion, mouth set in a hard line. Those silver eyes glowed with irritation. "Well, _sorry_, but I was rather busy with the fifty-or-so other ones right in front of my face!"

We glared at one another for a time, neither of us wavering. I broke eye contact when I felt as though his molten-metal gaze was penetrating a little too deep, and hid the shiver that sizzled up my spine with a soft, "Che. Baka Moyashi."

His frown deepened. "It's _Allen_. Remember it."

"Fat chance."

Despite his evident disgruntlement, the younger boy stood and waited for me to catch up before we continued on. I couldn't help my slightly quickened pace.

~*~

_I couldn't understand why he was being so difficult. _

"_What did we come here for!?" I panted, vision blurring from blood loss. "Take that doll's heart now!"_

_Those silvery depths plainly bespoke shock, and sadness. _

"_I can't take it," he said simply, as if that one statement made it okay for him to throw away all our lives. "I'm sorry. I don't want to take it." _

_Shaking with anger, I flung his coat in his face. "That coat isn't meant to be a pillow for the wounded! Exorcists wear it!" _

_I could tell that my words had hit their mark; a wash of pain shimmered across his silver eyes. He stayed silent. _

_I shoved myself off the ground, clutching my coat to my body. Stalking past him, my gaze was hard, drilling into the floor. _

"_It takes a sacrifice to save others, newbie." The sound was like poison hissing from between my teeth; I assumed this to be the end of it. With my unwounded arm, I raised Mugen and pointed its tip at the doll's chest. _

"_Please, don't take it..." she pleaded, pathetic, gripping the old man tighter. I glared ice down at her pitiful form; she just trembled, staring up at me with those huge, watery eyes. Begging. But this wouldn't be the first person I'd killed who didn't wish for death; just another nameless victim of war. I no longer cared who lived and who died. _

_The voice behind me took me by surprise. _

"_Then I'll be it." _

_I watched as a wiry frame moved between my blade and the doll. Mugen's tip was now pointed directly at the rose cross on his chest. _

"_Are you okay with me being the 'sacrifice' in place of them?" _

~*~

We stepped into a stone chamber, vast, styled after the Athenian Parthenon. Thick, nondescript columns marked the chamber's boundaries, and ruddy orange sunlight spilled in through the gaps. The ceiling was nothing more than slabs of stone lain on top of the columns, leaving a large, rectangular hole in the center through which a sunset-stained sky could be seen.

In the corner to the left and opposite where we entered, there stood a massive tree. It must've been two hundred feet high, the trunk at least eighty feet around. Its roots snaked across the floor—some had broken through, leaving long cracks filled with shadows—and coiled between the columns to burrow into the lush ground. Its branches were splayed in the air like thousands of flailing limbs, winding and twisting and curling around each other, hung with multitudes of glittering white leaves. The same leaves littered the ground below, still eerily pristine in their beauty.

Standing behind the younger Exorcist, I briefly took note of these details, then strode forward with a brash, "So where're we supposed to be looking for this Innocence?"

That snapped the kid back down to Earth. "Isn't it obvious?" He gestured toward the tree.

"It's a big tree, dipshit," I growled. "Where're we supposed to _look?"_

He grimaced at me. "I don't know. Do you think you could _handle_ checking the branches while I look around the roots?"

"Worry about yourself," was my only answer, before I walked up along one of the roots, grabbed hold of some bark on the trunk, and began to climb.

The bark was rough, with plenty of flaws that served as adequate hand- and footholds. Little flakes snapped off and fell wherever I touched it. Its many edges dug into my hands, and left small imprints and pinpoints of blood.

I reached a low branch and hoisted myself up, standing to brush off stray debris. The branch was wide enough that I could stand comfortably without much risk of falling. Which was good, because I was now something like a hundred and twenty feet up.

I peered around me, feeling a bit claustrophobic. I could hardly see for all the blinding ivory leaves surrounding me, and it made it that much harder to watch my feet. Glancing down, I could make out a snowy dot mulling around amidst all the white on the ground. I looked up again quickly.

As I crept further along the branch, it only got thinner. Where I had started out with about an arm's length of space on either side, that space had now dwindled to barely a hand's breadth. What was visible of the end of the branch appeared as a black hair against white bedsheets. At the sight, my chest tightened; I scowled harder, keeping my gaze pointed directly ahead.

Something became visible amidst all the feathery white. It stood out in stark contrast, a dark, blue-green blur in a white wasteland. The downturned corners of my lips relaxed, only slightly, as I contemplated the object. The closer I got, the clearer it became; it looked almost like some kind of blown-glass orb, suspended from a vine-like protrusion on the branch. A shimmering gray mist swirled in its depths.

My feet carried me forward, closer to this mystery that tugged at my subconscious. It felt as though the globe was drawing me to it somehow, like an old friend. I felt like I knew it; knew what it was but couldn't put it into words. At length, I became aware of more of them hanging from the ends of nearby branches. I squinted above and behind me, and found them scattered everywhere, all filled with this inexplicable gray mist.

I stopped. The orb was before me, a mere arm's length away. The glittering clouds of smoke within roiled and tumbled about, looking almost restless. The notion both disgusted me and drew me in, until I could all but resist the urge to stretch my fingers forward and feel it for myself. When I did, the warmth of it surprised me; the dark globe swelled with light beneath my touch. Entranced, I simply stared.

_Ba-dum._

I snatched my hand away. _'What the hell...?'_ The glass had somehow..._throbbed_ under my fingertips, the sensation almost like that of blood rushing through a human vein. The sound of a beating heart, bass and penetrating, echoed through my head. _'Innocence wouldn't do this...'_ I thought, uncertain. Nodded. _'Something else, then.'_ What, I couldn't guess.

I headed back along the branch and climbed higher, but found nothing new; just more layers of white, with the occasional, intermittent splotch of green. After another half hour or so, I climbed down to converse with my partner.

~*~

"_Are you okay with me being the 'sacrifice' in place of them?" _

_I just stared into those defiant silver eyes, sword still pointed at his heart. _

"_All they wish for is to die on their own terms," he pleaded. "I can't take the Innocence from this doll until then! As long as I destroy the akuma, there shouldn't be a problem, right?" His silver eyes bored into mine, looking pathetic and superior all at once. It would be the first time I felt him reading me like an open book; I was deeply unsettled. _

_His next words, I knew, he'd drawn straight from my heart. They bit like a chill wind on the face of a mountain. _

"_To win a war built on sacrifices...is just empty!"_

_Before I could think, my fist was flying; the resulting crunch as my knuckles met his cheek left my heart awash with dark satisfaction. Then the wound in my chest throbbed painfully; my head spun, and I stumbled to the floor after him. _

"_What a sucker," I spat. Panted, vision blurring with pain. "You'd sacrifice yourself for others because you feel _sorry_ for them...?"_

_My head snapped up, blazing anger lending my voice volume. _

"_Don't you have _anything_ dear to you!?" _

_A thick silence fell. My harsh words rang in my ears, as I was sure they did his. He wouldn't look me in the eye, and shadows shrouded his features; even so, all of his inner turmoil, his unshed tears—usually so carefully concealed behind that polite mask—lay plainly across his face. They churned in the deep silver pools of his eyes. _

"_What was dear to me...I lost long ago." _

_He raised his head a bit, and I got a better look at the sad smile on his face. So fake, it made me sick. Why did he always try so hard to smile? _

"_It's not that I feel sorry for them," he continued, bringing my narrowed eyes up from his lips, "and it isn't for any noble reasons, either. I just don't want to see that side of things. That's all it is." _

_For someone who claimed such childish motives, he looked remarkably old, and tired. A withered soul. _

~*~

He looked up at me as I stepped down from a root, making my way toward him. My skin prickled a little under that silver gaze.

"Nothing to find up there," I grunted. "There were these weird glass things, but they were everywhere. I don't think they were Innocence."

"'Glass things?'" I glared; he sighed. "I didn't find the Innocence, either," he continued, staring off in thought. "I wonder where it could be? It's kind of hard to miss..." The silence lasted a few moments. Then he looked back up at me. "I did find this, though," he said, fumbling around in his pocket before producing a small silver key.

Everything about it was ordinary.

"Some kid probably just dropped it here," I murmured.

"That's what I thought at first, too," he affirmed, "but then I saw this."

He held out the little metal object, and I let him drop it into my hand. Upon closer inspection, the thing was still completely unexceptional. There were probably thousands more of these all over Italy, used to open little girls' diaries or something. I was about to tell the bean sprout this when I stopped short, noticing something carved into the top of the key.

It was a tree, its roots and branches curling in intricate designs across the surface of the metal. Miniscule pinpricks were visible where the carver had tried to make leaves, and I even saw some tiny circles here and there among the branches.

Looking back up at the snowy-haired boy before me, I saw my question reflected in his silver eyes: what was it for?

"We should take this back to Komui," I reasoned. The kid nodded.

I started to head back toward the entrance.

"Hey, wait—the key—"

Sighing irritably, I tossed the thing over my shoulder. I didn't care to look behind me, but heard a bit of scuffling, followed by an exasperated bean sprout.

"Be careful!" he exclaimed. "I nearly lost it between the roots!"

"Maybe you should learn to catch better, then." I smirked.

"Maybe _you_ should—Hey, hold on! What's your hurry?"

"We need to get back to the Order," I said simply, not slowing down.

"Wa-wait for me! Kanda!"

~*~

"_Wake up! You're supposed to be guarding them." _

_He started at the sound of my voice, but didn't raise his head from where it rested on his knees. _

"_Huh...?" he mumbled. He sounded exhausted. "What's a guy who's supposed to be bedridden for five months doing here?" _

_I plunked down on the steps a little ways below him. "I'm healed." _

"_You've got to be joking..." Miraculous how, even though he'd barely slept in three days, he still managed to sound mocking. _

"_Shut up," I growled. _

_It was silent for a bit, the only sound that of a soft lullaby drifting on the air. "I have a message from Komui," I pressed on. "I'm heading straight to my next mission." The kid's silence was starting to get to me; where was all that determination I'd seen? "You deliver the Innocence to headquarters." _

"_Got it," he replied shortly. _

_I looked up at him. He sat in the same position, looking utterly forlorn. The doll's haunting melody still echoed in the distance, making my muscles tense. I hummed in annoyance and turned away. _

"_If it's too hard on you, go stop the doll. That thing isn't 'Lala' anymore, right?" _

"_It's their promise to each other," came his kneejerk reply, some of the defiance from three days ago returning to his voice. "The person who destroys Lala should be Guzol." _

_I paused at that. Then, "You're too soft, you know. We're 'destroyers,' not 'saviors.'" _

_His answering silence was pensive. _

_Finally, he responded. "I know... But I..." _

_The wind picked up, leaves bouncing and weaving on the whirling currents of air. When it died down, there was silence. Lala's lullaby had stopped. _

_A few minutes later found us back in the maze underneath the city of Mater, at the entrance to the cavern. I stood in the doorway with Toma, watching as the bean sprout approached the two still figures in the center of the room. He got down on his knees and just looked at the silent and unmoving doll. _

"_Thank you..." she suddenly murmured, "...for letting me sing until I broke. I was able to keep my promise." _

_His eyes were wide as the bloodstained doll collapsed into his lap, her eyes finally empty of consciousness. He sat, stunned, for a few seconds. Then he was hunched over the doll, shaking a little. _

"_Oi," I called, "what's wrong?" _

_His arm came up to cover his eyes, and I heard him sniffle. His voice was tear-filled and wavering as he answered me. The determination behind it was firm. _

"_Kanda... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others." _

_I knew it back then, in that domed cavern far below ground. I was sure love was never meant to feel so strange. _


	2. Chapter 1: Without His Wings

**As promised, the first real chapter. Just make sure you've read the prologue--important plot, you know. xD**

1 – His Silver Eyes, Without His Wings

"So I was just sittin' there, in this guy's house, and he wasn't even payin' any attention to me, just starin' out the window, and I finally go to look and there's all these little schoolgirls ridin' by on bikes, all dressed up in their uniforms, and this guy's eyes are, like, buggin' out, it wouldn'ta surprised me if he'd started drooling—"

"Stupid rabbit, no one gives a flying fuck about your stupid pedophile story. Just shut up."

"Aww, but Yuu-chan, I haven't gotten to the part where he nearly assaulted a little girl—"

"_Just_—stop right there. I don't need to hear this."

"But Yuu-chaaan..."

My eyebrow twitched.

We were in western Greece, patrolling the extravagant streets and bypassing vendors whose shouts made me want to hurl them through a window. I couldn't even remember what the fuck we were supposed to be looking for. All I could think about was getting back to the inn, and away from this pack of lunatics.

"Lavi," a familiar, androgynous voice piped up. A little thrill of adrenaline shot up my spine. "I think you should stop. He might seriously hurt someone."

"Careful, sprout, or it'll be you."

I could feel the affronted expression he gave me without even turning to look. "I'm trying to _help_ you!"

"Yeah, well, don't. I don't need your help."

A quiet "hmph" reached my ears from his direction, and I turned just in time to see his frustrated pout, which made him look more like a defiant three-year-old than anything. The corner of my lip twitched upward in a smirk.

"Mr. Walker, shouldn't we focus on the mission at hand?" prodded Link. I cringed, my scowl returning. I hated the guy's voice; it was just so nasally and proper, with an air behind it like he thought he fucking owned the world.

'_Che... He probably does,'_ I thought sourly.

The Moyashi, however, seemed completely oblivious. "Yes, I suppose you're right," he agreed. We walked on in silence.

...For about three seconds, before Lavi launched into another one of his outrageous stories—was there no end?—and I finally broke into my cache of death threats.

'_Why do I have to do this?_' I thought, mourning the loss of some perfectly good alone time; we had been dispatched almost immediately after returning, with only a small rest period in between. Of course, that fact only emphasized the importance of this mission, though _why _it was important was completely beyond me. The locals had been complaining of what they called "strange phenomena," which were things that, in reality, we would never normally be called in for. Nonetheless, something about the reports had caught Komui's attention—disappearances and fucking weird noises; seriously, what was the big deal?—and he had sent Finders to investigate. Apparently, according to their hocus-pocus science shit, there was a "high chance that Innocence was the cause." I still didn't believe it. As such, I stalked the streets in a rather disagreeable mood. Passing citizens visibly shied away from me. I only sneered in response.

"So we're trapped in a cave in this snowstorm, the place is freezin' cold, and this girl is totally hittin' on me, all battin' her eyelashes and sayin' in this suggestive voice, 'Maybe we should _cuddle up_ to _get warm_—'"

"_I will seriously fucking run you through if you don't shut up right now." _

"But Yuu-chan, who doesn't like a story about a hot girl hitting on you?"

"Hitting on _you_. Immediately takes away from the attractiveness."

"Aww, that was mean—"

"MONSTER!"

Suddenly, all four of us went rigid, whipping around toward the source of the cry. There was a loud crash from directly ahead; smoke rose from the destroyed corner of a building, and out of the chaos shot a newly-created level one akuma. More of them exploded from nearby buildings, and rose up from behind the hills. Through the thin cloud cover, countless level twos descended on the scene, each with their own unique repulsiveness.

I smirked. Drawing Mugen, I slid my fingers down the blade in one quick, impatient stroke, wielding the glowing katana before me.

"God, _yes,_" I hissed, and sprinted into the fray.

Immediately, at least four level ones—they being the closest to our group—flew up to block my path; I sliced through them easily, like a hot knife through melted butter. Twice as many came to take their place, along with a couple level twos. The level ones fell easily beneath my blade, but the level twos (supposedly possessing a superior intelligence to their younger brethren) flounced about, taunting me with their rough, ugly voices.

"Whatsa matter, Exorcist? Too much for you?"

"This one looks fun, heehee..."

After a few futile attempts to land a hit, I simply stopped, arms limp and head down. My breath came long and slow, calm, hissing from between my gritted teeth. My heart beat fast as a hummingbird's wings. My hands buzzed with the ghost of movement.

I seemed to have confused them.

"...Eh? Why isn't he moving? Oi, Exorcist...?"

"Maybe he's dead..."

"Idiot, if he was dead, he wouldn't be standin' up..."

I could feel them drawing closer, lowering themselves to get a better look at the "dead" Exorcist. When they were close enough, I leapt upward, spinning three-hundred-sixty degrees and nailing both of them with one stroke. I cast a cold gaze on their astonished faces as they were blown to bits. Then more of their comrades closed in, and I quickly rejoined the fight.

As the number of enemies diminished, and the crowds thinned, I glimpsed a white-cowled figure flitting in and out of sight. Pained screeches and deafening explosions followed in his wake. My hands slowed, the change barely perceptible. And I studied him.

He was so light on his feet, appearing almost as if to dance as he floated past building after building on white ribbons. Even with only one arm, his attacks weren't hindered in the slightest. In fact, they seemed almost elegant; he sheared through each enemy in his path with obvious ease.

As he drew closer, I watched the way his limbs moved like liquid, so smooth and effortless; the way his feathery white hair whipped in the wind; the way his lips and fingers tightened with each stroke. He didn't seem happy, or angry, or even resigned; rather, the grimace on the visible part of his face spoke of a profound sadness. I might have even called it pity.

As he reached the outer edge of the battle, his sword stilled, falling limply at his side. The cowl disappeared, and his left arm returned to its original form. His lips moved soundlessly, but I already knew what he said. It was what he always said.

"Pitiful akuma, may your souls be saved."

We stood in the outskirts of town, amongst the rolling hills and scant shrubbery. The air around us was empty, and as the dust settled on the road, the white figure across the way turned, slow, hesitant. His hips were first, then his shoulders, then his head, the movement deliberate and fluid. Still, his eyes did not reach me. Instead, they focused on the motionless dirt beneath our feet. I gazed upon him, thoughtful.

The way he looked right now, I couldn't help but be mesmerized. Even with the sad hunch of his shoulders, and the pitiful sag of his limbs, something about him looked...majestic. His strong stature, his slim shape, his flawlessly pale skin... The pure white of his hair, the deep black of his left hand... The slight tilt of his head, the cheerless smile on his lips, and even the unreadable gleam in his silver eyes as they finally rose up to meet mine... He appeared to me as a broken god, or an angel without his wings.

It pissed me off.

What gave him the right to be so superior? What in that empty skull of his told him it was okay to rise above everyone else, leave them all behind, and act the savior? What was wrong with being a normal human, simply devoted to fighting the bad guys? Why did he have to do everything on his own? He didn't have to be so goddamn righteous all the time. It was okay to be selfish. He had no reason to look so helpless and alone.

Somehow, I forgot to contain all of this; it seethed in the heavy gaze that I returned to him, and he looked away quickly, almost as if he understood.

'_Che... Yeah, right.'_

A flash of red in the corner of my eye drew my attention away from the bean sprout, and I watched Lavi jog up to me.

"Yuu, you alright?" he asked, looking me over with a worried expression.

I scoffed. "Why wouldn't I be?" He seemed relieved.

When I returned my gaze to the snowy-haired figure across the road, he was turned away, speaking with Link in a hushed voice, his face pinched in annoyance. Link appeared carefully apathetic, jotting down notes on that stupid notebook of his. _'Well, at least the kid has the common sense to be pissed when his loyalty's under suspicion,'_ I thought.

_Ping..._

I looked up at the noise, like a single thin string breaking in my head. The breeze blew innocently, leaves rustling and dirt swirling as they tend to do. Still, I was wary; my gaze was somehow drawn further down the road, away from the town. On instinct, my feet followed my gaze.

"Wha—Yuu-chan, where're you—Hey!"

I paid no heed to the rabbit's calls, and after a few moments of hesitation, he, Link, and the bean sprout followed me into the trees.

The road wound dangerously, and tree branches bowed close to my head, forcing me to duck down. Shadows and patches of sunlight shifted as the trees swayed in the wind. The only sounds were those of the leaves, whispering to each other, and our own footsteps. The latter seemed deafening, unwelcome.

A sudden left, and the sunlight was blinding; I threw my arms up to protect my eyes. Startled cries from behind told me that the others had arrived, as well.

When I lowered my arms, I was met with the sight of a wide clearing. At the far end stood a massive tree, at least two-hundred feet high and eighty feet around. Its roots were all bunched together, creating a dense pile of writhing serpents at the tree's base. The branches stretched toward the sky, mangled and desiccated. Hanging from the branches and littering the ground were thousands upon thousands of ebony leaves, each shimmering faintly in the sun.

The sight was eerie, and I was apprehensive as I approached the tree. It was obviously dead; the trunk was gray, dry, and rotting, the branches appearing as fragile as if they were made of glass. As I walked toward it, something at the base of the trunk caught my eye; I knelt closer, trying to make it out.

"Oi," I called to no one in particular, eyes never straying from the tree. "Come look at this."

A few seconds later found a white head of hair intruding in my peripheral vision. "What is it, Kanda?"

As the air stirred with his passage, a cloud of his scent wafted into my face; something indecipherable. Sweet, but vaguely floral.

"These carvings... It looks like a story, almost." My muscles tensed as he moved in for a better look, arm brushing mine and ivory hairs wisping across my chin. I resisted the urge to shudder, furtively gripping the tree for support.

His hum was low, pensive. "I think you're right," he murmured. Then his silver eyes widened, and a gasp escaped his lips. "Look, Kanda! This is the tree we found in Italy!"

I looked, and sure enough, he was right; the first drawing depicted a tree that looked uncannily similar to the one we'd visited not three days ago.

I looked to the right.

"This...this is that key," I whispered, tracing the familiar shape with my fingers. Beside it was a crude depiction of a girl, reaching out to the key; she looked to be about twelve or thirteen. What _was_ this? Why was thattree appearing here, now? And who was the girl? Peering up into the gnarled branches of the dead tree, it occurred to me that this one and the white one in Italy had much in common. What could that mean...?

A glint caught my eye. I blinked.

My gaze sharpened, eyes narrowed. Small rays of sunlight shone through gaps in the leaves, and I held up my hand in an attempt to block the light. Standing that way, I almost forgot about the overbearing presence next to me, the heat across my skin, the fluttering of my heart.

There it was again.

I followed the twinkle, squinting harder. Black leaves swayed in the breeze, whispering, mocking me.

Finally, I spotted it: amidst the glittering clouds of black, a violet orb was suspended on a branch. Roiling behind those thin glass walls was a shimmering silver mist. The color reminded me of his eyes.

My mind flashed to our mission, and all the villagers' complaints; disappearances punctuated by whispering clouds of black, moans and far-off wails in the night...

'_Come to think of it, we went to Italy because people were complaining of disappearances...'_ I stared at nothing, lost in thought. Then I was stumbling back a step, wide-eyed.

"It's taking _people_," I snarled, narrowing my eyes at all those disturbing purple globes, which I now knew contained human souls.

"What?" was the bean sprout's startled question.

I pointed up into the branches. "Remember those glass orbs I was telling you about in Italy, that I found in the branches of that other tree? They're in this one, too. Both this tree and that other one have been kidnapping people, that's why people have been going missing."

Raising his eyebrow, the bean sprout said skeptically, "Trees, kidnapping people? Kanda, you're losing your touch."

"What if the tree was Innocence?"

He gave me a befuddled look, like something didn't quite fit. "But that can't be, Innocence wouldn't do that... Don't you think you might be jumping to—"

"There was somethin' similar to this a while ago," a voice piped up from behind. We both jumped.

"Goddamn rabbit...!"

Ignoring me, Lavi continued. "Don'tcha remember, Allen? Kuro-chan was killin' 'people,' too."

I glanced from one to the other, totally lost. However, the ivory-haired boy beside me seemed to understand. "So, you're saying that the tree has been taking akuma, of its own volition, and sealing the souls away in those orbs?"

Gravely, Lavi nodded. "Though it's unprecedented in history, lately the Innocence has been actin' of its own accord. Lenalee's, when it saved her back on the boat to Edo, and yours, when it saved you from the Tease. Maybe this's another example of that."

"But, Lavi... How do we know they're souls?"

I grimaced. "Where the hell else would people be disappearing to? Missing people and a huge, freaky-ass tree, in the same place, at the same time, and you think they're unrelated? In _two_ places," I added.

"I think that we can't know for sure."

Groaning, I whipped Mugen from its sheath, reactivating the Innocence with an impatient hand and growling, _"Kaichu Ichigen."_ A horde of small, vicious-looking creatures materialized. Flying away, they vanished among the branches, only to reappear moments later cradling a dark purple orb between them. Sunlight glinted off the smooth surface, and what little light penetrated the globe was lost in the shimmering depths of silver mist.

As soon as my creatures had handed it off to me and evaporated, I thrust the pulsing sphere into the bean sprout's hands.

"Wh—Why're you giving me this?"

"You wanna find out who's right?" My glare was sharp and patronizing, boring into his silver eyes. "Take that to Komui for testing. And I'm not fucking carrying it for you; you're the one who wants to know."

He turned a troubled gaze down at the globe in his hands, holding it gingerly. He seemed rather disconcerted by the throbbing sensation it gave off.

The three of us turned back to the tree, examining the carvings once more. Below the line we'd already interpreted, there was one depicting a boy. It showed him exiting the door of the tree, though this tree looked slightly different from the other one. The leaves on it had an odd gold tinge.

"I think that's _this_ tree," the youngest of us muttered, extending his free hand to point at the very same drawing I had been studying.

"But the leaves aren't gold, they're black," I argued.

He traced a line upward through the leaves in the drawing. "These ones are darker than the rest, and they seem to get darker the further up you go. Almost like they're changing in the picture."

"...Why would it do that? And who's the kid?"

He just shrugged.

"Whoa, hey, he's a telepath!" Lavi exclaimed.

I turned back to the rabbit, making my skepticism plain. "This _bean sprout_ is no telepath."

"It's _Allen." _

"No, no, not Moyashi-chan, the kid in the pictures," Lavi proclaimed, waving his arms around frantically. "Look! This one shows him usin' his incredible mind-powers!" The rabbit pointed at the drawing, then proceeded to demonstrate, holding both hands to his head and screwing his eyes shut.

"How do you know that?" I drawled, annoyed. "He just looks constipated. And so do you."

"'Cause, the next one shows him meetin' up with the girl from the other pictures," he explained matter-of-factly, and indicated the drawing he was referring to. "And, I mean, there's a possibility that they know each other, and that his 'telepathy' is really just him makin' the social rounds. But it looks to me more like he's never met the girl."

"How?"

I could almost hear the flick of a switch as Lavi went into Scholar Mode.

"When someone meets an old friend, they tend to smile really big, a friendly smile. Then they'll hug the person, or kiss 'em on the cheek, or take their arm and lead 'em somewhere to talk. Here, they both look kinda reserved, a little shy, just smilin' politely. It looks more like the first meeting than the first in, say, ten years."

My eyes drifted from my red-haired comrade to the drawing he described. I studied it carefully, taking in every line, every stroke, every dot. At length, I had to agree; the meeting did appear rather formal. A meeting between strangers.

"So... If we find this boy, he can help us find the girl?" the silver-eyed boy beside me concluded.

"Why would we _want_ to?" I muttered. "I don't need any other idiot kids in my life."

The Moyashi gave me a reproachful look, but chose not to comment. "They're in the drawings, aren't they? So they must be important." And, when I didn't offer up a rebuttal, "We need to report this to Komui."

Lavi murmured his agreement and began retreating to where Link stood waiting. I turned to leave, but the bean sprout didn't move, still studying the tree.

"Oi," I growled.

No response.

"_Oi."_

The boy started, turning to blink up at me.

"We're leaving."

"Oh, right," he murmured absently, pushing off the ground and grabbing the tree for support.

With a thunderous crackle, gold sparks burst to life between the boy's hand and the trunk of the dead tree. He cried out in alarm, stumbling away and falling on his back. The violet orb struck the ground with a faint _clink, _rolling away.

"_Moyashi!"_

As his body struck the tangled roots of the tree, more sparks burst forth, and he screamed again. The scent of burning flesh filled the air.

"God dammit!" I cursed, loping to his side. As my arm wrapped around his back, brushing the tree in the process, I expected to get burned as well; however, I felt nothing more than a soft tingle. I lifted the now unconscious boy from the ground. As his form separated from the tree, the sparks popped out of existence.

"You _idiot_. Wake up, dammit!"

Nothing.

I grimaced, breathing harshly through my nose, and turned back to a shellshocked Lavi. Even Link looked alarmed.

"He needs a doctor, _now,"_ I ordered. Immediately, Lavi jumped into action, hurrying off down the road for help. Link looked on, notebook and pen limp in his fingers. I pointed behind me and barked, "Bring _that." _The inspector started, then scrambled to follow my instructions and retrieve the fallen globe. I continued forward at a slower pace, trying not to jar the unconscious boy in my arms.

I stared down at him with a careful gaze. His uniform was untouched, but the ends of his hair were slightly singed, and the tense muscles of his back spasmed every few seconds. Classic signs of electroshock. But shouldn't there be more physical evidence...?

He mumbled incoherently, eyelids fluttering, and I glimpsed a flash of gold. My spine went rigid.

This confirmed that the tree was Innocence. It had attacked the Noah in him.

~*~

He lay on the bed, eyebrows knit together and forehead coated in sweat. Each agonized sound he made sent a tremor down my spine.

I stood in the doorway, arms crossed, head down; I couldn't bear to look at him, not when he was so helpless and in pain. My face was pinched, eyes roiling with shock, and I carefully concealed the expression in shadow.

Beside the bed, Lavi stirred. He had been motionless for hours, so the movement startled me; but he was only changing positions. No doubt, having his elbows digging into his knees for that long was uncomfortable. His head was cradled in his hand, concerned and calculating gaze focused on the bean sprout's twitching form. I could practically hear the gears turning in his head. Link stood off to the side, silent.

"Gaaah...!" the rabbit hissed, and stood abruptly. "I gotta walk," was his brief explanation, before he stormed out the door.

As the rabbit's footsteps faded, an oppressive silence fell. I half expected the obnoxious ticking of a clock, but there was no such noise. Just Link, ever the stoic observer, and me, trying my best to keep my breathing under control. The seconds passed, each one like another twenty tons settling on my shoulders.

"M-Mr. Walker!"

I looked up sharply. Link was standing by the bed now, looking surprisingly concerned as he gazed at...

"Link... W...water, please..."

Without another word, the inspector swept from the room.

Silence fell once more. Now, as each second crawled by, pressure built steadily in my chest, words trying to force themselves out. But I was better than that, so I held them back. For the most part.

"_Idiot_ bean sprout," I hissed, pushing off the doorframe. As I leered over him, livid, his silver eyes focused on me. He looked confused.

"What's got your underwear in a knot?" His voice was meek as he struggled to sit up. Immediately, my hands flew to his shoulders, supporting him as he leaned against the headboard. "Thanks," he muttered. My only response was to remove my hands.

"You are so _fucking_ stupid," I whispered again, offering no further explanation. The corner of his mouth twitched up, silver eyes glittering.

"My dear Kanda, could it be that you were _worried_ about me?"

"Shut the fuck up."

He chuckled at that, settling back and peering out at the sun as it sank below the horizon. My gaze followed his, focusing on the red-and-orange-streaked sky rather than his overwhelming presence.

"It's okay," he said finally. The sound was sudden in the silence. "I won't assume anything, if that's what you're worried about. It's normal to feel concern for an injured comrade."

"I was not _concerned,"_ I argued, defensive. Another laugh bubbled from his chest, and he said nothing more.

A while later, I looked back to him only to find that he was once again unconscious. But at least he actually looked restful this time. Breathing a small sigh, I crossed to the bed and gingerly tucked my arms beneath him, pulling him back down into a horizontal position. Wisps of ivory hair swept across his face, smooth, pale cheeks tinged slightly pink. The red of his scar stood out in stark contrast to his pallid complexion. He was so light in my grasp, so fragile, he seemed almost insubstantial. The way he appeared to me—perfect, soft, breakable, majestic—was the very definition of an angel. I was surprised not to encounter scars on his back from where his wings had once been.

When he had been properly settled, I sat beside him on the bed, observing the steady rise and fall of his chest. Though he still seemed a little tense, his muscles were much more relaxed now than they had been. A soft tendril of relief uncoiled in my chest.

I had forgotten all about Link, who was due to arrive with the requested water at any moment; I had forgotten about Lavi, still wandering the streets, unaware of the Moyashi's return to consciousness; I had forgotten about my own desperate need to conceal these feelings of mine. All that was real to me here, now, was the boy at my side, sleeping peacefully. I drew my legs toward me and leaned against the headboard, perfectly comfortable, delicately brushing a stray hair from his face.


	3. Chapter 2: To Him

**Here it is, the lovely chapter 2~ Weekly updates are fun. And comforting. (Because I don't feel like a procrastinator.) I should do this more often. xD**

**Andddd... I just got on SPRING BREAK!!! I'm so happy! I have--shock!--no homework, and lots of free time, and lots of built-up naps, and a trip to Oregon planned for Wednesday and Thursday, and it's all just very fun. ^_^ AND--MERLIN MARATHON ON SUNDAY!!! WHOLE FIRST SEASON! I'M SO EXCITED! xDDDD (Ish mah dork show. XP)**

**Anywho, I now present you with what you've been waiting for. I apologize for the babble. ^_^;;;**

2 – His Silver Eyes, To Him

"_Kanda." _

_Silver fires in the darkness, pink-splotched diamonds trickling through; confusion and embarrassment and life. _

"_Kanda, what are you doing here?" _

_A smirk, a glint in the eye. Long arms drawing a slight frame closer. _

"_Why do you think I'm here, Moyashi?" _

_A shiver; goosebumps beneath trailing fingers. _

"_I... I don't—" _

_Bodies pressed together, sweet whispers and butterfly kisses on hot skin. _

"_K-Kanda..." _

_A shudder; splayed fingers against pale, slender legs. _

"_Say that again." _

_A pause. Then, slim arms snaking around a smooth back; cool fingers slipping under soft fabric and across feverish flesh. _

"_Kanda." _

_A low moan vibrating through a hoarse throat, a loose grip tightening around an arching back, hot breath ghosting across quivering lips—_

I jerked awake, and the first thing I felt was the growing pressure in my pants.

'_Fuck.'_ Well, it _was_ the morning.

The pillow let out a soft breath as I fell back into it. While consciousness ebbed in and out of my grasp, it registered that the room was not bathed in early-morning sunlight, but rather cloaked in thick night. The blankets were soft beneath my back. Each breath I took in brought with it the faint but intoxicating scent of candy and flowers; recognition tugged vaguely at the edge of my mind. Heat radiated from beside me, and I felt a pleasant warmth tangled between my fingers.

Hm. Well, _that_ was odd.

Curious, I squeezed. There was no reaction, but the thing remained, warm and slender and kind of... boney?

Finally, interest won out over drowsiness. I turned my head, and my nose was nearly buried in soft strands of ivory hair.

He lay on his stomach, arms and legs splayed at odd angles. His long, girlish eyelashes brushed across his cheeks as his eyelids twitched in sleep. His skin gleamed in the scant moonlight trickling through the window. His lips were slightly parted, vague, indistinct whispers hissing out with every breath.

I took all of it in, this sight which I had missed so dearly. It had been a while since the last time we'd slept in the same room; even during the mission in Italy, Komui had booked us separately. And while I felt a little guilty for taking advantage of him, as vulnerable as he was right now, I couldn't suppress the urge to reach out and stroke the pale, silky skin of his cheek. I breathed deeper, inhaling my fill of that inscrutable aroma. My eyes lingered on his lips, so perfectly round and pink, but I restrained myself; the kid was so young and fucked up, he'd probably never even kissed a girl.

It was in such a state, content and completely at ease, that sleep took me once more into its embrace.

~*~

_A bed of feathers cradled my sleeping form, a white-cowled figure seated beside me. He was pure as snow; his body was swathed in an ivory robe, hands encased in soft white linen; adorning his shoulders was a pair of wings, one full and thick with snowy feathers, the other mangled and black. Both shimmered with an otherworldly beauty. _

_The angel smiled sweetly down at me, and sighed, extending a slim, elegant hand to stroke my face. _

Something tugged at the back of my mind.

_His hand was warm, the fabric of his glove smooth to the touch; it felt almost like bare skin. His thin fingers slipped across my cheek and buried themselves in my hair, and I could feel the slight pull as they slid, slowly, through the strands, savoring the silky texture._

The sensation dragged me that much closer to consciousness, and I stirred a little.

_When his fingers were free, his smile widened just a little. His eyebrows knit together in helpless emotion._

The blurry figure beside me sighed again, whispering something too low for me to catch—

—_and the majestic creature leaned down, pressing his lips gently to my brow—_

—I hummed, relishing in the warmth of it—

—_Then, hesitantly, he stood—_

—and disappeared out the door.

~*~

"Yuuuuu-chan..."

I screwed my eyes shut, willing the obnoxious voice to go away.

"Yuu-chan, wake uuuuup..."

"Urusai nee, baka usagi," I groaned.

Lavi chuckled. "Now, now, use English. You know I can't understand Japanese."

"And you're supposed to be a fucking Bookman?"

His chuckling continued as he plopped down on the bed. "Come on, time to get up. Allen's openin' a gate for us right now."

I opened my eyes and sat up. Peering around, I noticed that the bean sprout was, in fact, absent.

"When did he...?"

"A few hours ago," Lavi grinned. "And you have no _idea _how happy I—"

"Yeah, yeah, I don't give a shit."

The idiot gasped. "Yuu-chan, that's so mean!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Nope!"

"Then shut up."

Giggling again, the rabbit merely skipped out of the room. After I had gathered my belongings and straightened out my uniform—which I was still wearing—I followed him. It wasn't too difficult to find him; all I had to do was listen for girlish laughter.

"Well, _someone's_ happy," I muttered to myself. _'You'd think he finally jumped Lenalee or something.'_ Truthfully, though, a small pocket of warmth formed in my stomach at his joy. He was my closest friend, as much as I hated to admit it (and, really, "closest friend" was a loose term, as I wasn't very close to anyone). Plus, I could guess what had caused him to cheer up.

When I exited the inn, the Moyashi was nowhere in sight. I tailed Lavi around the back of the building, where we found the gate that the kid had made back home. Still, no one was around.

"Oh, an' just to warn you, Allen has to reconnect the Ark to the HQ," Lavi called over his shoulder. "I forget exactly what Komui said, but it had somethin' to do with an injured Finder, a sausage link, and a bunch of akuma enterin' the Ark, so they had t' close the connection. No, wait, maybe the sausage was somethin' else..."

"Whatever."

Walking through the barrier was as disconcerting as always; it felt like a thin, liquid membrane slipping across my skin, but it left no trace of its passage. I shivered.

I opened my eyes—which I hadn't realized I'd closed—and glanced idly around. White stone buildings towered on either side, blank faces marred by the thick darkness in the windows. Every building was adorned with a door, each tall, mahogany plank identical to the next. The place was eerily quiet; though I knew it was under the control of the Order now, my steps were still cautious, my spine pin-straight. After all that had happened here, it was only natural that I be wary.

I came to a room that, while I usually never spent long in the Ark, I had come to call my own. The doorknob was cool beneath my fingers. I turned it, and stepped over the threshold into a room whose walls were completely black. I lit the candle in the corner, closing the door behind me; Lavi didn't seem inclined to follow. Which was just as well.

As the door closed, blocking all other light from the room, warm orange candlelight spilled across the ceiling, illuminating the pinpricks of white that could only be seen in near darkness. After much contemplation, I had figured out that these white specks were meant to look like stars, and formed perfect constellations between them. The mystical part of it was that the scene changed every time I saw it; my theory was that it reflected the night sky over the Ark's current location—the Order headquarters—but the slow revolution of the planet around the sun changed the look of the sky each night. How this pattern translated to the ceiling, I would never know. One of the many eerie mysteries of Noah's Ark.

I crossed the room and took a seat on the squishy, deep blue sofa that was one of three pieces of furniture in the room; the others were a small end table next to the sofa, and a coffee table in front of it. I leaned back, closing my eyes, though I felt perfectly rested.

Suddenly, a silver wisp of sound uncoiled in my head.

For a while, I simply sat and listened; but as the languid tendrils wriggled their way past my defenses, I breathed long and deep. All the tension trickled from my muscles, melted away. My heartbeat slowed. I could hardly feel the couch beneath me, I had become so relaxed. Entranced, even.

He was playing the piano again.

~*~

"_Quiet. He's here." _

_His silver eyes followed my gaze, and we both watched as a shadowy figure, stout but in no way slight, emerged in the distance. It ambled drunkenly, its barely-contained sniggering drifting across the silence to us. _

_I had seen him before, this overconfident and deranged figure. He was the Noah, Skin Boric. _

_I made a decision. "Go ahead of me." _

_A chorus of confused gasps echoed behind me, combined with Lavi's "Yuu?" _

"_He's the one after our general," I explained coolly, "so I've already met him a few times." _

_Lenalee, of course, protested. "W-we can't just leave you here on your own, Kanda!" _

_I stopped her. "Don't get me wrong; I'm not doing this for you. I told you, he's after our general." _

_Bringing my hand slowly to Mugen's hilt, I slipped my fingers around it and slid the blade out with what I knew appeared as a menacing determination. The sound of battle-worn metal grating against its wooden scabbard seared through the silence. I caressed the blade with two fingers, blue light trailing along beneath my touch. _

_When the Innocence was fully activated, I held the blade before me, all semblance of serenity in my voice dissolving in favor of a darker tone. _

"_I'm cutting him up to complete my mission." _

_Silence. Then—_

"_I'll stay too, Kanda!" _

_My eyes widened slightly, and I nearly turned around to stare at him, bewildered. What was he saying? _

_Before I could respond, he was issuing orders to the others. "I want the rest of you to find the next door and go through it when you see a chance. We'll catch up—" _

"_The two of us, together?" I scoffed. "You've got to be joking." Ridicule came so much easier to me than that _other_ emotion, the one causing the uncomfortable pit in my stomach as I tried to imagine him, here, trapped forever in this godforsaken Ark. I wouldn't let that happen. And I knew that this way would be far more effective; if I rejected him outright, surely he'd be more inclined to leave? Showing him any sign of companionship would only make him want to stay, out of some psychotic urge to _protect_ me. That was just the kind of selfless, moronic person he was. _

_As predicted, he started to protest. "Kan—" _

_I swung around, Mugen's point mere inches from his nose. Funny, how many times I pointed my sword at this particular person. I might've smiled at the thought. Instead, I shoved it deep down, underneath all the years of rage and hatred, thick black layers that I had grown so accustomed to. These were what I let settle across my face, oozing from my glaring eyes and into his startled silver ones. _

_My voice sounded demonic, even to me. "I said I'd kill him." _

_Shock fell across his face like a cold, heavy cinderblock; behind him, the rest of the group looked frightened, eyeing my blade with obvious apprehension. That was a good sign. Maybe now they'd leave me the fuck alone. _

_When they made no move to leave, I twitched Mugen forward, the flat of the blade lightly stroking the bean sprout's scarred face. His silver eyes were bright, and wide, and I even went so far as to slice off a few of those pure white hairs as they stood on end. His back tensed visibly. _

_I had to admit, it was very entertaining to have this much power over him. Besides the enjoyment I found in making the naïve brat squirm, I liked the thought of being able to make him more alive, more real. I hated seeing his stupid façade all the time. Though, I supposed, I hated even more to see what was under it. _

_I let my glare deepen, throwing more childhood fury into the furnace, and even letting some of my immediate anger trickle through to lace the black with strands of violent red. And I really was _angry:_ at myself, for being so willing to throw my life away, even for such an idiotic bean sprout; at that neanderthal Noah, for putting this boy's life—all of their lives—in danger; and at the cursed boy himself, for not _leaving_ when I fucking _told_ him to. _

"_Now get lost," I snarled. I could hardly restrain my fury enough to keep from quivering. "Or should I start with you guys first?" _

_They muttered uncertainly amongst themselves. Dammit, this was taking too long! _

"Kaichu Ichigen!"

_That had them running, finally. They cried out in terror, sheltering behind some rocks until my underworld creatures sizzled into nothing. Che... Wimps. They didn't really think I'd kill them, did they? That would be irresponsible. _

"_Kanda, you ass!" _

"_Are you trying to kill us, idiot!?" _

"_That's it, we're leaving Kanda behind!" _

_God,_ finally.

_I tried to ignore the pair of silver drills I could feel boring into the back of my head. Nonetheless, my legs twitched, begging to turn me around and satisfy my longing to see him, maybe for the last time. It was almost too easy to fight that craving; I was Kanda Yuu. I never looked back. _

_Then the sensation subsided, and they were walking away, muttering to each other about how scary and asshole-ish I was. I didn't care, as long as they were gone by the time things really heated up. _

_A soft sigh escaped me. Who was I kidding? _

"_Kanda." _

_I was a little startled by Lenalee's voice, but I didn't turn around. _

"_Kanda, make sure you come after us," she demanded, sounding like a defiant three-year-old. "You have to, okay?" _

_I stayed silent. _

"Answer me!"

_The volume shook me up a bit; it appeared as though there was a faster way to do things. _

"_O—okay, now go," I complied quickly, a little uncomfortable. At this point, I was uncertain I'd be able to keep such a promise. _

"_Hey..." _

_The husky voice brought my attention back to my opponent, whose eyes had begun to sizzle with energy. I was about to find out just how accurate that metaphor was. _

"_I don't know what you're saying..." Skin Boric rumbled, "...but you guys..." his skin broke, strange horn-like protrusions emerging, "...are noisy!" Smoky-gray shreds sloughed off, revealing the gold hue underneath as it crackled with electricity. _

_I sneered. How pathetic, that he had to have some flashy reveal just to feel powerful. To me, it was the ultimate sign of weakness. _

"Nigentou."

_Sword and scabbard alike burst into frightening blue flames, Innocence licking at my palms as they tightened around the twin weapons. I could feel it in my bones, the raw power, as it sharpened and honed itself into the perfect blades, close to godliness in their destructive power. Lenalee's footsteps retreated behind me. _

_I raised my Innocence, sharp gaze trained on my opponent. _

"Hakka Touro!"

~*~

My eyelids drifted open. The memory of that fight was still hazy, just a blur of lights and sounds, forever cloaked in uncertainty. The entire time, though I would never admit it to anyone, I had felt almost sick as I wondered what could be happening to the others. To him.

I stared blankly at the ebony ceiling above. It wasn't like I cared much for this life, anyway. I just had to find that person, and I didn't give a flying fuck what happened to me after that.

A pair of silver eyes shone down at me, knowing too much.

I blinked, and the image went away. But the feeling remained, and now I was once again conscious of that hauntingly beautiful melody ringing through the Ark. I could see it now, in my head: his silver eyes reading those strange symbols, his silver fingers dancing like spiders across the colorless keys, his silver tongue forming silver words that floated through time and space to tickle my face, soak through my skin, and settle comfortably around my heart.

Though I may not have cared before, I knew it was a lie, now, to say that my life held no meaning for me. I had proven that to myself long ago.

~*~

_I trudged uphill, panting, muscles and bones and head aching as if Fate had eaten them for breakfast and chewed especially hard. My skin burned, particularly the skin of my neck; I could still feel his meaty hand squeezing, the echoes of that fearsome electricity buzzing in my cheeks. _

_My vision blurred; I stumbled. _

"_Shit..." I hissed._ 'Is it because I used up too much life energy in a short period of time...?' _A weak, frustrated groan escaped me._ 'This isn't the time to be losing consciousness...'

"_Never...forgive Him..." _

_My eyes went wide as a column of electricity exploded into the air behind me. The intensity of it thundered through my bones. _

"_You've got to be kidding... He's still—" _

_I turned and caught a glimpse of his face, mangled in pain and madness. He had let Noah's wrath consume him completely. _

"_That bastard!" I cursed._ 'He's gonna release a huge one!'

_Something dawned on me. I glanced forward again. _

_There it was, that simple brick building with so many opaque windows and a single door, the nameplate of which said in clean, block letters, "Noah." _

_The exit. _

_I grunted and shoved myself up off the ground. Drawing Mugen, I briefly wondered if the blade would be able to handle this. It was half-dissolved already... _

_Skin let loose then, a massive wave of electricity launching forward. The crackling sound of static and fire assaulted my eardrums until they felt about to rupture. _

'Shit!_' I no longer had the luxury of uncertainty. If I tried to dodge now, my only way out would be destroyed. Surely I could hold out against this, his last, desperate attempt at victory? _

"Sangenshiki!" _The Innocence coating Mugen's two blades flared up in my hands, the length of each blade now almost three times my height. My stomach did somersaults as I felt my life being sucked away. Crossing the swords in front of me, I barely had time to brace myself before the wave hit and forced me backward a good ten feet. The sound of my feet skidding across the dirt was lost within the din of a thousand electrical storms concentrated into a single, screaming clamor. _

_As the seconds ticked by, the force behind the electricity seemed only to grow. I grunted with the effort, and as that, too, increased, my volume went from that small grunt to a battle cry so loud it ravaged my throat. All my strength was thrust into holding the force at bay as I desperately tried to cancel out its momentum. But my blades couldn't stand the pressure; even as I watched, they began to disintegrate. Skin's shockwave slowly gained ground. _

_When Mugen finally shattered, I sat in stunned silence, and was consumed by the flames. _

_I spent infinity trapped there, in that terrible heat. I felt as though my skin were peeling away, my muscles charring black, and my bones crumbling to ash. The pain ripped through me, leaving my chest so tight that I couldn't scream, couldn't even whimper. Black spots swirled with the white ones at the edges of my vision, as my inability to breathe slowly leeched away consciousness. _

_Finally, it receded. The only things that registered in my battered mind were the throbbing numbness in my limbs, the sound of approaching footsteps, and Mugen's hilt, still grasped weakly in my fingers. _

_Skin Boric's voice rolled like thunder. "I did it..." He sounded almost shocked. "I destroyed...him..." And then he was laughing like a complete lunatic, so hard that the ground shook—or was that just the Ark collapsing?—and so hard that he didn't notice until it was too late. _

_His cackling was cut short. "What...? Under my feet, there's...light..." A puzzled silence. Then, "Crap." _

"_Consume..." I hissed, "...Mugen." _

_The scattered fragments of my blade glowed, lines of blue light drawn between them. The light was comforting to me, steeling my shivering body. Then the splinters were flying toward the hilt, coming together like pieces of a puzzle. The final picture: a fearsome blade, alight with undiluted power, the spaces between each piece illuminated with Innocence. _

"_My sword...is not dead yet..." _

_I used what was left of my strength, raised the fractured Mugen, and slashed Skin Boric in half, straight down the middle. The sword gleamed for a few seconds more before crumbling, slivers of metal raining to the ground. _

"_Now...this really is the end." I murmured wearily. _

_Skin flashed me a demented grin from where he lay, in pieces. "You still don't understand?" he mused. "I told you already, Noah are immortal! It's nowhere near the end!" _

_The Noah exploded into thick gray dust. _

"_Shut up," I growled, irritated. "It's the end." _

_Finally, I allowed myself a glimpse of my Innocence, so perfectly destroyed. Who knew if it could be fixed? "Damn... Komui's...gonna be...depressed..." My vision blurred. _

_I heard a loud, tumultuous crash from behind me, and knew that my only way out had just collapsed like a house of cards in the wind. _

_What irony. I smirked. _

"_Shit." _

_And then there was nothing. _

_Colorless nothing. No texture, no odor, no flavor, no sound. No sensation of any kind. A timeless, directionless, motionless, bottomless eternity. _

_Nothing stirred..._

_...Nothing breathed..._

_...Nothing lived..._

_...The abyss was shattered. _

_A silver droplet of sound rang forth; just a simple chord, tentative and unsure, but somehow perfect. Another followed, and more, until the droplet was a trickle, the trickle a stream, the stream a roaring river of beautiful sound. The lilting melody wrapped its gentle tendrils around me, slowly rebuilding my form as it carried me all the way back there, to him. _

_I opened my eyes, and stood up. _

_My body ached, and I winced as the breeze bit into my exposed skin. A seed of warmth came to life in my chest, from the black symbol on my chest. The uncomfortable knitting sensation of healing flesh spread through my body. I looked toward the restored exit, silver tune weaving a pair of like-colored eyes in my head, ones I knew well. _

_An unexpected wave of relief flooded through me; I was alive. Alive and _breathing._ I had never realized how much I treasured it. And as I made my slow and painful way forward, I knew I would never forget. _

~*~

I rolled over, burying my face in the navy cushion of the sofa. My eyes narrowed at the table in front of me. Right now, that rushing river of music was only a stream; it lacked the desperation that had once possessed it.

I felt every bit as drawn to it as I had that day, in the space between dimensions.

It was really quite irritating, this unshakeable compulsion to stand up and go to it, to him. My eyebrow twitched a bit, and my fingers gripped the cushions tighter, as if to keep me rooted there. But I could hardly restrain my weary mind; it traveled into that pure white room with a briskness that could almost be considered eager.

_His back faced me, snowy hair gleaming. His fingers drifted almost lazily from key to ebony key, and his body swayed with the music. I strode forward without hesitation, arms snaking easily around his shoulders, encased in white linen. My fingers tugged absently at the ends of that red ribbon as I leaned closer, breathing in that elusive smell. _

_He turned to face me, his fingers leaving the keys. Somehow, the song continued, soft and tranquil. _

_The silvery pools of his eyes were glazed with calm. The upward curve of his lips was peaceful, content—and real. For once, a genuine smile, so beautiful on such an angelic face. No hint of sadness marred his features as he stood, leaning into me and fitting effortlessly into my embrace. The warmth of his body, enfolded so perfectly in my arms, even brought a small smile to my lips. His grin widened pleasantly at the sight, and he stretched upward, pressing our foreheads together and rubbing his nose with mine. I closed my eyes; his arms tightened around my neck. Our lips were so close. His warm breath tickled my mouth and meandered through passages and tunnels, from his lungs to mine. I felt the need to say it, just once, even as my tongue fumbled around the unfamiliar name. _

"A-Allen..."

"What's that, Yuu-chan?"

I jerked awake, jumping into a sitting position as a startled breath hissed through my lips. _"Shit._ Goddamn rabbit, how about some fucking warning?"

Lavi, the ever-moronic rabbit, grinned down at me. "Well, jeez, Yuu-chan, no need for profanities."

"What do you want?" I snapped.

He cocked a shockingly-red eyebrow, which matched his ridiculously messy hair. "Someone's defensive," he sang. At my glare, he giggled. Fucking schoolgirl. "I just came down to get you, since you didn't come in with us. Komui wants you for a debrief."

I blinked up at him, annoyed, before realizing that the soft tones of a piano no longer echoed through my head. The door across the room was wide open, spilling bright light into the dim space. The black of the walls now appeared gray, the glow of the stars on the ceiling drowned. We were back at the Order.

"Che." I pushed myself off the couch, strapping Mugen to my hip as I brushed past Lavi and walked out the door.

I'd hoped to avoid him, but the idiot jogged up behind me, falling into step. "So, what was that you said when I came in?" I could hear the smirk in his all-too-innocent voice. "It wouldn't have anything to do with our young Moyashi-chan, would it?"

"No."

He giggled again, the creepy little hyena. "Whatever you say, Yuu-chan," he teased, and pranced out of reach before I could get my hands around his neck.


	4. Chapter 3: Tension and Sensitivity

**So, here it is--chapter 3. I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for the delay, but my laptop power cord decided it wanted to SHRED itself on the very day that I planned on updating. O.o Anyway. Please enjoy~ =D**

3 – His Silver Eyes, Tension and Sensitivity

The halls were quiet, the only sounds being those soft moans and hisses made by the castle in its slumber. Darkness blanketed the space around me; this particular corridor was located almost dead center of the Order headquarters, with no windows lining the walls, and all the torches had been put out. My chilled skin had sprouted goosebumps, but I didn't mind. The cool air was like a gentle hand, steadying my mind and tugging it back toward consciousness. The fog of my short nap still clouded my vision.

Reaching Komui's office, I stood outside the door and allowed a quiet sigh to escape me. The tall, smooth oak structure was an imposing sight, but even more so was the prospect of what lay beyond.

I scowled, steeling myself. And then I grasped the doorknob.

Even before I had taken my first step, I was very nearly tackled to the ground.

"Yuu-chan!" The obnoxious voice of one crimson-haired rabbit stabbed brutally and repeatedly at my eardrums. "You're so slow! Put your hand down, I can't hug you!"

"That's the point." Unceremoniously, I shoved him aside, stalking across the room and plopping onto the far side of Komui's couch.

"Good morning, Kanda."

From the corner of my eye, I briefly registered an ivory mop of hair, a pair of sparkling silver eyes, and a soft, inviting smile. I snorted, glancing away. _'Stupid rabbit.' _Glanced back, examined that subtle grin a little more closely. _'It doesn't look like he knows about _that, _at least.' _

"Where's Komui?" I grunted. Directly ahead, the supervisor's chair sat behind his desk, cold and pointedly empty.

It was the bean sprout who answered, voice quiet, almost as though he were afraid to break the night's silence. "Reever went to wake him up. He was asleep when we got here."

I didn't reply.

Out of nowhere, a wave of weariness crashed over me. I grasped the arm of the couch to steady myself; my skin prickled silver, and I turned to look, but he was staring down at his hands, folded in his lap. I figured it was just paranoia. Or some childish, poorly-suppressed hope, I don't know.

The three of us remained in buzzing silence. Fully expecting the rabbit to come fill in the space between me and the bean sprout, I was starting to grow uncomfortable with his statue act; he just leaned against the wall by the door frame, looking entirely too comfortable. I could've sworn I felt his Cheshire Cat grin sticking to my back, but his face was always carefully blank whenever I turned to look.

Between the rabbit and the bean sprout, hypersensitivity was depleting my energy fast. I nearly nodded off right there.

Just as my eyes drooped closed and my head sagged for about the fourth time, the door burst open.

"So sorry for the wait," Komui's voice boomed, loud as ever (if not louder). It was frighteningly hard to tell when he slept sometimes; he was always at the same volume. "Now we can get started."

"About time," I grumbled, in no mood to draw things out. I straightened in my seat in an effort to stay awake.

The supervisor exhaled loudly as he sank into his seat. "So," he trained us with his superior, no-jokes stare, lending us his full attention, "how did the mission go?"

The rabbit and the bean sprout exchanged uncertain glances, silent.

I snorted. "It sucked."

Silver, emerald, and onyx eyes all turned to me. Raising his eyebrows a fraction, Komui leaned in. "Oh? How so?"

I closed my eyes, a tick developing in my eyebrow from the mere thought of past events, and dove right in. "Well, for one, we didn't find any Innocence." Paused, considering, then decided, to hell with it. "And for another, _this_ idiot went and got himself electrocuted."

The kid beside me winced. "Kanda, I was hoping we could wait a bit before getting into that..."

"And what?" I spun on him, eyes blazing. "Just ignore it? Were you hoping I'd forget, that I wouldn't even mention it? This is serious; it's not something you just leave out."

Immediately, his molten silver eyes solidified; the temperature in the room itself seemed to have dropped, and I started to feel like I'd said the wrong thing.

This was confirmed for me with his next words, stinging like solid ice on bare skin. "Please don't underestimate my character, or my intelligence," he hissed, voice low and monotone. "I meant it exactly as I said it: I thought it would make more sense, perhaps sound less _dramatic,_ if we explained the rest first."

Oh, great, so now I was a drama queen. I just scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait." Komui waved his arms around for our attention. "Start from the beginning."

The room stayed silent, no one offering anything up.

Seeing as no one was willing to give up information, Komui's gaze fixed on a point behind the bean sprout and I. "Lavi? Can you tell me what happened?"

I could just feel the rabbit's grin widening sickeningly, and imagined it splitting his face in half, like a wicked Jack-O'-Lantern. He stepped forward to lean on the back of the couch; the Moyashi's and my rigidness melted into a mutual suspicion.

"So." Dramatic pause. Mischievous grin. Twit. "We ran into this huge group of akuma, right? And so we're chasin' 'em across town, and when all of 'em're dead, we end up at the edge of this forest. Then this freaky pluckin' noise starts up, and Yuu-chan gets this funky look on his face—"

"I did not, moron."

"—and scampers off into the woods—"

"I do not _scamper."_

"—and we all follow 'im, thinkin' it's somethin' important—"

"It _was_ important, jackass."

"Kanda!" I turned at Komui's sharp tone. "Let Lavi finish."

A few moments of tense hesitation, and I leaned back into the couch, crossing my arms with a soft "che."

Komui turned back to the rabbit. "Please continue," he urged.

Lavi nodded. "So yeah, we follow Yuu-chan"—my eyebrow twitched at the nickname—"into the woods, and we find 'im in this humongous clearing, with this gigantic tree in it—"

"Kind of like the one Kanda and I found in Italy," the bean sprout supplied.

Lavi went on. "So we're just kinda standin' there, watchin' Yuu-chan walk around and around the tree, mutterin' to himself—"

I growled; the supervisor spared me a sharp glance.

"—and then he calls Allen over, and they've got their heads bowed together, mumblin' to each other—"

I tried not to react to that.

"—and so, bein' the curious guy I am—"

"More like nosy." Another sharp glance from Komui, but he said nothing.

"—I walked on over an' saw that they'd seen these funny carvings at the base of the tree—"

"Carvings?" Komui leaned infinitesimally closer. Damn scientists and their endless curiosity.

"Yeah," Lavi affirmed. "They were, like, trees and kids and doors and keys and stuff."

Komui's eyebrows rose. "Keys?"

"Yeah," I grumbled. "Speaking of which, have you looked at the one we brought back from Italy?"

"Ah, no. The team's still analyzing it," he murmured distractedly.

"Well, here. Something else for you to analyze." I rummaged around in my pocket, producing the amethyst globe and tossing it in Komui's direction. Eyes momentarily wide with surprise, the supervisor caught it in a shaky grip. After a few seconds, he looked ready to drop it again.

"Kanda, be careful with that!" the bean sprout squeaked.

"Says the one who _dropped it_ while getting _deep fried." _

His face reddened, mouth pinched shut.

Komui looked warily between us. "Well..." He was obviously gauging our actions, trying to pick us apart for some answers (because words had gone so well for him). I stared pointedly away; hell if he was getting any answers from me.

Finally, he continued, the words coming slowly. "As much as I'd like an explanation on this purple...thing... Lavi, if you would please finish."

The grin Lavi flashed at me was malicious in every sense of the word. "Well, we were lookin' over these pictures, talkin' it out, and then we got up to leave." The grin slowly fell from his eyes, like mud sliding down a wall. "Now, I didn't exactly see what happened, but I heard yellin', so I turned around and saw Yuu-chan pickin' up Moyashi-chan, all worried—"

"_Usagi."_

"—an' he carried 'im back to the inn, where we called a doctor. The doc said he'd been shocked." The red-haired man shrugged apologetically.

Komui turned to me. "Did you see what happened?"

I crossed my arms, scowling at the floor. "There wasn't much to it; he lost balance, grabbed the tree, and it shocked him. I don't know why."

Slowly, Komui's eyes slid from me to the bean sprout, gaze heavy. Knowing. The kid squirmed, almost as if he knew what the supervisor was thinking.

I narrowed my eyes and glared from one to the other, searching for any hint, any sign of this theoretical reason they had found. Wondering if they'd come to the same conclusion I had. My venomous stare merely glanced off both of them; the bean sprout was staring sheepishly—worriedly? And was that a hint of sadness?—at the floor, the supervisor's contemplative gaze directed in the silver-eyed boy's general vicinity.

Lavi cleared his throat. Loudly.

All eyes turned.

"So, then." The scarlet-headed Exorcist gestured toward the desk, and the violet orb glowing on top of it. "What's this? I never really got an explanation, either."

Komui's jet-black gaze fell on me. "Kanda?"

No sarcasm this time; I was silent, wondering how to explain. I decided to start from the beginning.

"Back in Italy..." I leaned onto my knees. "Back in Italy, when the bean sprout and I were searching that tree for Innocence, he found the key down by the roots. I went up into the branches to look, and found a whole shitload of little glass orbs, just like that one, only they were green. When I touched one of them..." Words failed me.

"What is it?" Komui prodded.

"Well, you felt it, didn't you?" I looked up at him, searching his eyes for recognition. "That pulse. Like a fucking heart, ripped out of someone's chest."

The supervisor's face became pinched, and he eyed the thing before him with apprehension.

Then he turned back to me. "And you think there's some connection?"

Wordlessly, I nodded.

"He thinks they're human souls."

We all turned toward the bean sprout, I annoyed, Lavi wincing, Komui perplexed.

Having captured our attention, the kid continued. "He thinks that there's Innocence in the tree, that you use a key to get it out, and that while it's trapped in there, it's been kidnapping akuma from the town and sealing the souls away in those globes. I don't think they're souls; if they were, my left eye should have reacted, shouldn't it? Since they came from akuma." He looked to Komui for confirmation.

The supervisor just pursed his lips, thinking. "Well, we'll run some tests, and see what we can find," he said finally, gaze slightly troubled as he looked again on the dark orb before him, and the silver mist churning within. Shuddering, he looked away.

Distractedly, he asked, "Was that it, then?"

Lavi hummed. "Got off the train, fought the akuma, found the tree, looked at the pictures, got mortally wounded..." The ivory-haired boy beside me grimaced. "Yup, that's pretty much it."

"Hmm... Well, then, I'll send some Finders through the Ark to take a look at those drawings, and I'll try to finish analyses on the key and the globe. In the meantime, why don't you three get some rest?"

I took this, gratefully, as my cue to leave. Heaving myself off the couch, I slunk toward the door with as much dignity as I could muster. The other two turned to follow.

"Allen-kun."

Lavi had already gone out the door, but the bean sprout stopped and turned around—I did the same without thinking.

The supervisor's gaze, trained on the Moyashi, was laden, secretive. "Will you please stay a moment?" I couldn't imagine what the connotation behind that was.

The boy glanced down at the floor, and for a moment, his eyes filled with dread. If I hadn't known better, I might've thought I saw a little fear there, too, swirling sickeningly in those silver depths. And, really, I didn't know better, though I probably should have.

But I held my curiosity at bay, tossing a questioning glance his way before turning to take my leave. I didn't stop to see if he'd noticed.

~*~

The room was dark, only dimly lit by the moonlight spilling through the window. Just lying in the dark relaxed me, knowing that even if someone were in the room with me, they couldn't see the confusion in my eyes, the frustrated twitch in my muscles. Soothing, also, was the fact that the shimmering pallor of moonlight felt almost like a cool waterfall streaming across my body.

I tried not to think of what it reminded me of. Or who, as the case was.

But I was still pissed off. Sometimes, I just felt like the whole world had something to hide from me, like I was some kind of gossip, a hazard to secret-keepers everywhere. And yeah, I kept my own secrets, mostly because I didn't feel like anyone particularly cared about my sob story, but also because I didn't quite trust anyone enough to clue them in. In turn, that probably made people distrust me. But this... it felt serious. Whatever was going on with the bean sprout, I felt like it was something I should know about. I didn't stop to consider whether anyone else should be told; all I knew was that _I_ needed to know.

I wondered if Komui was thinking along the same lines as I had: that the 14th was somehow involved. Maybe he, too, had noticed just how similar those two incidents were. At the very least, the fear was the same; cold, merciless, hopeless.

~*~

"_If you'd just concentrate and quit getting distracted by what's going on over there—"_

"_Shut up, Kanda!" _

_I glared straight ahead, sword held at the ready, and reached up to wipe a bit of blood from the corner of my mouth. Beside me, the bean sprout glowered menacingly at our opponent, for once looking older than five. The akuma, however, with its baby fat and liquid eyes, looked extraordinarily young. Or it would have, but for the evil smirk splitting its face, the malevolent spark in its eyes. _

_The pause didn't last long; before either of us knew what was happening, a huge machine gun materialized in front of the Moyashi's nose with a foreboding _click. _The snowy-haired boy blanched, flipping into the air just in time to avoid getting his head blown off. I jumped a little ways to the side, out of the machine gun's line of fire, and leaped forward, sword raised, toward the creature whose arm the gun was attached to. _

"_Nimble little pest!" it cursed, but its eyes spoke to the contrary; they glowed with the thrill of the chase, of knowing that all this work would only make the kill that much more satisfying. It made me sick. _

"Sangenshiki!" _My blade erupted in ethereal blue flames; the akuma's attention turned to me; I spun around behind it, aiming for its stringy little neck. Its head turned a nauseating one-hundred-eighty degrees to follow my progress. _"Bakuhakuzan!"

_One mighty stroke, and a black, staticky bolt of energy struck the akuma lengthwise. Bullets rained on me, striking at least fifteen times and sending my own blood splattering across my face. The bullets dug through the flesh of my shoulders and upper torso, and as the pain ripped my body in two, I collapsed to the ground. My strike didn't quite hit its mark; the beast's right wing and left leg were ripped to shreds in a couple of miniature explosions, its back suffering little more than a shallow gash. _

_But then he was there, coming at the thing from below, silver eyes flashing with his intent to kill; for all his peace-loving nature off the battlefield, he didn't look too eager to save this thing's soul at the moment. He swung long and hard, arching his sword through the air—_

—_and the akuma caught it between its teeth. _

_The Moyashi whipped around, stunned. "His teeth...!?" Still clutching the blade in its jaws, the creature wheeled around and mercilessly kicked the white-haired boy into the distance. There was a faint crash, and then nothing. _

_It spit the sword out, and the weapon crashed to the ground, useless. _

_But the bean sprout was running now, and the akuma was firing after him, shouting for him to "die, die, DIE." I looked on in horror; he was weaponless, defenseless, running from this horrible creature's perpetual onslaught. I wanted desperately to do something, to get up and _move,_ help him in some way. I felt so useless, wallowing in pools of my own blood as I watched his life tick away. _

'Come on...'_ I willed myself to move. _'Come on...'_ My muscles were all straining, and sweat began to bead on my face from the effort; my finger twitched. _'Come on, come on, come ON...'

_Movement behind the akuma caught my attention; I glanced up in time to see the kid's sword, discarded and without its wielder, standing of its own accord on its hilt. The thing glowed with a devilish purity. _

"Crown Clown!" _the bean sprout boomed, eyes ablaze, and his sword jumped into the air, flying headlong toward the akuma. Before the thing could react, the blade had already embedded itself deep in its flesh, bursting out the other side and forcing the creature through the air like some deranged bullet. _

_I blinked, and it was over. _

_There was the akuma, with the sword stuck straight through its stomach...and there was the Moyashi, pinned against the wall by his own blade. I shuddered at the thought of being so close to the akuma, but the sword didn't faze me much; Crown Clown was only supposed to harm things that were evil, right? _

_From what I could see of his facial expression, it seemed to me that the bean sprout was relaying this information to the akuma. The thing looked stupidly incredulous, trapped under an ice-cold silver gaze. A reverent silence fell over the place; it had been a daring move. _

_When the silence itself froze, I knew something was wrong. The quiet had become deadly, shocked; veins popped out on the silver-eyed boy's face, and he didn't appear to be breathing. The akuma said something I couldn't catch. Then, the Moyashi's eyes widened, and something in the air seemed to snap in half. His hand went to his head, fingernails digging in with an accidental kind of deadly force. _

_And he was screaming. _

_His vocal cords sounded like they were shredding, mouth open impossibly wide, eyes shocked and unseeing, back arched in debilitating shock. The sound was poison to me, like a thousand fingernails dragging themselves across the oldest and most worn chalkboards. I stared in horror as his pupils became nonexistent pinpricks amidst all the white of his sclera. _'Crown Clown is affecting him...?'

_My limbs quaked with alarm and fear, adrenalin surging through my veins and shoving me off the ground. Gripping Mugen with white knuckles, I sprinted forward, across the entire distance, desperate to get to him, to stop his screaming. _

_But, abruptly, silence fell; I was still too far away to see clearly, but he looked calm now... His hand drifted upward, placed on the akuma's cheek, and he said something to it slowly and quietly. _

_But why...why were his eyes gold? _

_When the answer came to me, it hit me like a tidal wave, washing across me and filling me with a desperate anger. It was that Noah bastard again, that goddamn 14__th__... He was taking advantage of the bean sprout..._

_I reached the scene and, without pause, my sword went straight through the damn akuma's head. The 14__th__'s head was cocked ever-so-slightly to the side to avoid my blade, which was embedded in the wall not an inch away from him, tangled in white hair that was slightly wavier than it should have been. _

_I just stared at this man, anger flaring; he stared right back, golden eyes half-lidded and thoroughly bored. _

_Something snapped. _

"_IDIOT BEAN SPROUT!" I roared, trying to relieve some of this whirling anger, trying to get his attention, trying to figure out if he was still there, somewhere buried beneath a face that was his, but belonged to a stranger. I needed him to be there. He couldn't go yet, the inconsiderate moron; I wouldn't fucking let him. _

_Relief flooded through me as a gloved hand snapped up and wrapped around the hilt of the sword embedded in his gut. Gold eyes blinked, and glittering pools of silver stared back at me. I don't know what it was, but it was like a fist closing around my heart and squeezing out all the pent-up emotion there; my gaze, I knew, was filled with it, and it poured from my laden eyes, across an invisible bridge, and into his. _

_Then, I was pulling down, and he was pulling up; our blades slid sluggishly through the akuma's flesh, like they were trapped in mud, and it even made the same kind of wet sucking noise. I pulled harder, and so did he. My vocal cords rumbled into motion just as his did, our cries gaining volume steadily as the seconds ticked by, until we made a deafening cacophony in the silence. When we could get no louder, it felt to us as though the only thing barring our victory was the smallest, thinnest thread. _

_Finally, the thread broke; the akuma flew apart, blood spraying in all directions. My blade nearly spun out of my hand. _

_When the bloodbath ceased, it was silent once more, the sound deafening in my ears. My chest felt tight as I slid my sword back into its scabbard, avoiding his eyes. _

"_Hey." _

_I hesitated, but ultimately, I couldn't resist the call; my head turned, silver meeting dark blue once more. _

"_What?" I demanded, and my own voice sounded pompous and annoyed in my ears. _

_Silver orbs glittered with mischief, and, far beneath that, relief. A faint, weary smile tugged at his lips. _

"_I've told you before," he ground out, "the name's Allen." _

_I could've laughed out loud, or cried; I could have jumped forward and wrapped him in an unrelenting embrace. I did none of these things. But, he seemed to sense the warm pool of relief which had filled my chest, because his silver eyes were once more molten, soft and smiling. I wondered if my eyes were smiling back. _

~*~

A sliver of sunlight traced the horizon when I awoke the next morning, just after five o'clock. I sat up, stretched. It didn't take long for me to get dressed, and then I was headed for the training room, Mugen in tow.

The chill air in the room gave me goosebumps, and I almost wished I'd put on a jacket over my sleeveless shirt. But then, I reasoned, my training would warm me up soon enough. I found a secluded corner (though I was alone), and began my basic exercises.

The room, of course, brought more memories of the bean sprout. Primarily, one of a different room, in a different building, sparring against the boy to determine which of us would shave his head. It had started out as a swordfight, until I had bested him. Thinking I had won, I'd let my guard down, only to be knocked to the ground. As blows and insults were exchanged, his eyes were alive, burning with anger and something else, something I couldn't place. I couldn't help that my heart warmed at the memory.

"Have you eaten yet?"

The voice startled me a little, and I turned to return his calm silver gaze. Quite some time had passed; the sun was now considerably higher in the sky, light pouring across the scene.

I scoffed. "No. What do you want? And where's your stalker?"

He shrugged, unperturbed by my callousness. "Link's outside. Komui said he wanted to see us, but he's in a meeting, and won't be out for a while. I figured you'd want to have some breakfast before we have to go see what he wants."

I eyed him, annoyed at his politeness. Finally, "Che. Baka Moyashi."

_Now_ he looked bothered. "It's _Allen_."

I ignored him, and turned away to continue my training.

"BaKanda."

I whipped around, pointing Mugen at his throat. "Care to say that again?"

He grinned evilly. "Ba. Kan. Da."

I swung my sword, missing him by inches as he ducked beneath the blow. His foot shot out, so much like the last time, and I toppled to the floor. Mugen fell from my grasp, skittering out of reach.

Now _this_ was a compromising position to be in, and I was suddenly glad Link wasn't in the room to witness it; I lay flat on my back, staring up into the bean sprout's smirking face as he straddled my waist, wrists pinned beneath his hands.

He cocked his head to the side. "Still falling for the same old tricks, I see." His eyes were alight with amusement.

I looked away, if only to keep the flush from my cheeks, and uttered a soft, "Che."

A few moments passed, in which he made no move to let me go. I looked back up at his face. The smirk was gone, his eyebrows now slightly knotted in confusion, or contemplation, I wasn't sure which. His barriers were still down, though, and I tried not to lose myself in his clear silver eyes.

"Planning on getting off me, sprout?" I growled. He blinked, then pouted in mock indecision, not missing a beat.

"Hmm... I dunno..." He pretended to stare at nothing, making pensive noises.

When he offered up nothing further, I sighed, grumbling, "Fine. I'll get some fucking breakfast."

He smiled, victorious, and slid off me in a very awkward manner. I bit my lip. Then we picked ourselves up, he looking smug, I feeling a little pissed off as I followed him to yet another place I hadn't meant to go.

~*~

"Ah, there you are," Komui grinned as we walked in. Then his eye gained some kind of mischievous glint. "I trust you had a nice breakfast?"

I muttered something along the lines of, "Mind your own damn business," but it was drowned out by the bean sprout's, "Yes, thank you."

"Please." The supervisor gestured toward the couch; we sat. It struck me as funny how, no matter what the situation, we always placed ourselves with the greatest possible distance between us.

The smile quickly dropped from Komui's face, and he looked a little reluctant to breach whatever topic was on his mind. Finally, though, he spoke.

"We've finished analysis of the orb." Pause.

When he showed no signs of continuing, I prodded, "And?"

He sighed. "And... The substance inside...is unknown."

'_Oh, great, that tells us nothing,' _I grumbled inwardly. In all honesty, I had been looking forward to telling the silver-eyed boy "I told you so." But I kept my mouth shut.

"However..." My attention was drawn once more to the black-haired supervisor. "We did find traces of Innocence, both in the lining of the orb and in the key."

"The key?" Moyashi asked.

Nodding, Komui finished, "It seems the two trees are related."

I tried not to look too smug.

"But, there was another reason I called the two of you here. I have a mission for you."

Sliding a drawer in his desk open, Komui produced two black mission folders, handing one to each of us.

"In light of recent events," he began, "we've received a messaged from an outside source who claims to have information regarding this whole mess."

"Information?" His silver eyes widened a little in alarm. "But how did they know we needed it?"

Komui just shrugged, then went on. "We don't know the exact nature of the information, nor the allegiance of this informant. I'm sending the two of you with Lavi and Lenalee, just to be safe. You'll find them waiting outside the Ark. And also," he fixed us with a heavy stare, his eyes like blocks of undiluted lead ore, "be careful. It seems the Noah are on the move."

Komui's gaze left us, and I let out a quiet breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

"I've already authorized a gate," he drawled on. "You should find the location familiar."

Then his eyes were on us again, his gaze less heavy than beseeching.

"Be safe."

Silently, the two of us nodded.

But as I stood to leave, something in my gut told me that would be easier said than done.


	5. Chapter 4: Sights and Sounds

***sigh* And so, after a long and grueling week of school (blech) and detoxing from spring break (so... much... sleep... I MISS IT T^T), I proudly present you with the next installment of _His Silver Eyes. _=DDD And in less than 7 days this time, aren't you happy? xD Enjoy~**

4 – His Silver Eyes, Sights and Sounds

The trip through the Ark was short this time, and when I emerged shivering from the gate, the sight I was met with was indeed familiar. A line of trees loomed before me, brown leaves littering the ground. Behind me, a half-destroyed town was displayed, all in two-dimensional pastels, like a painting. The echoes of hammers and saws worked their way through the air to our ears; the ground below was flat and bare, soggy from the recent rain.

This was where our fight with the akuma had ended, and where all this stupid tree shit had really taken off. This was where the Innocence had first called to me.

Peering around, I found the trail down which I had been drawn; I kept my feet firmly in place this time.

"According to brother's directions," Lenalee announced slowly, nose buried in her file, "the house should be...this way." She headed off in the direction of the town, but took a near-invisible side road about twenty feet away. The four of us—Lavi, Link, the bean sprout and I—merely followed.

The road wound back and forth, dappled with early-afternoon sunlight as it spilled through the leaves overhead. It looked to be just wide enough to allow a horse-drawn carriage passage, and was littered with the colorful leaves of late fall. The ground crunched noisily beneath our feet.

A short walk, and we emerged into sunlight once more. Before us was a plot of cultivated land, cleared of trees, but upholstered in lush green grass and littered with brittle leaves. Rows of assorted flowers lined the borders where grass met trees.

In the center of all this, there was a house.

The structure was neat and plain, but tall, and wide; the red bricks of its walls clearly showed the many generations through which it had stood. The classic strands of ivy climbed up the bricks, like long, green fingers clutching the building, rooting it there. The windows shone in the sun, and clearly reflected the puffy gray rainclouds rolling in; clean and glittering mischievously, like eyes.

The house just stared at me, grinning. A slow shiver crawled up my spine.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door opened, revealing an old man in a neat black suit.

"Hey, look Moyashi, he looks like you," I snarked, mostly to get a grip on my wits. The look he flashed me was clearly not amused.

The man stood in the doorway, waiting for us to reach him.

"Good afternoon, Master Exorcists," he wheezed, then nodded toward Lenalee. "Mistress Exorcist." The old coot sounded about to keel over and die of respiratory arrest. He addressed the group. "You're expected."

Lavi, Lenalee, and Moyashi glanced at each other nervously, and it was clear what they were wondering: had Komui warned them we were coming?

Nonetheless, Lavi grasped the white-haired boy by the arm, bravely leading the way inside. Link followed like a dog on their heels, Lenalee next, and I last. The old man—who I assumed was the butler of this mansion—nodded as I passed, tugging the door shut behind me. It closed with a resounding and final _thud. _

We found ourselves in a long, narrow corridor. Its walls were lined with panels of dark wood, and the marble beneath our feet was a deep mahogany hue. Each square tile, as wide as the corridor itself, was etched with an outline of ivory and adorned with an ivory X.

"Pardon me," the butler murmured as he passed, footsteps echoing sharply, and began leading us through the labyrinth.

I was beginning to feel uneasy about this mission, and the further we walked, the worse it got; this house was like a maze, too many halls and rooms and dead ends. I started to wonder what kind of person would live in such a place, the possible answers lending little to the cause of comforting me.

Lenalee, who had been bobbing along just ahead of me, suddenly dropped back. Falling in step beside me, she whispered, "You getting as weird a feeling from this place as I am?"

Eyes glued carefully to the back of the butler up ahead, I nodded stiffly. The hairs on my neck prickled; why did it feel like someone was listening?

"Are you worried?"

I hesitated. "...A bit."

"Yeah, me too."

Silence fell once more, and I expected her to scurry on ahead, but she didn't. She just walked along beside me, and maybe she was trying to take whatever comfort she could from my silence. It was the same feeling as when she would sit in the training room and meditate with me, usually whenever Leverrier decided to pay a visit; a kind of comfortable quiet.

"Worried about Allen?"

I turned sharply, and caught her looking at me with a quiet smirk and a knowing glint in her eye. And yeah, I'd been thinking about him a lot... Maybe I was a _little_ worried... After all, it was feeling increasingly like the 14th was gaining control over his mind... But how could Lenalee know anything about that?

She seemed to take my startled glance as confirmation, and looked away, satisfied. "It's the fingers," she shrugged. "You always tap them on your leg when you're worried about him."

I blinked.

She said no more, simply running off and leaving me to blubber like a fish.

Gazing at her retreating back, I felt all too exposed, like I was lying on a table, fluorescent lights shining down, insides splayed out for all to see. Though, I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that she could read me so well; if the bean sprout was the guardian angel, and Lavi the delightful pest of a younger brother, Lenalee was like the mother hen: protective, watchful. I wondered idly what I was in comparison.

The group came to an abrupt stop before a set of double doors, wide and polished to a perfect shine. The butler opened one of the doors, gesturing inside.

"My master awaits," he croaked.

A wary-looking bean sprout was first to tiptoe over the threshold. After a pause, he was followed by an agitated rabbit, a stony Link, and a humbled Lenalee. Stiffly, I followed; the butler entered last, and pulled the door quietly shut behind him.

The first thing I noticed could have been the vaulted ceiling, with rafters like the folds of rock in a cave and chandeliers hanging like stalactites therein; it could have been the textured marble underfoot, glittering navy like the sea in the calm before a mighty storm; it could have been the neat little tables and chairs lining the walls, set up for the extravagant gala they clearly had not seen in many years. But, quite understandably, it was none of these things.

No, when I looked around that room, the first things to catch my eye were the platforms.

They hung in midair, drifting innocently from place to place, each with its own idle consciousness. Some were flat; some were thick; some were round, others were square, and yet more were bizarre spiked or rippled shapes that resembled nothing at all. Some were made of wood, some of stone, some, even, of glass. The only similarity any one seemed to have with the next was that they spun effortlessly above our heads, with the help of no earthly device I could discern.

"Like it?"

We all whirled toward the source of the voice, tense; more than one hand flew to a weapon. But the only one standing there was a young boy, no older than nine or ten.

"It's my project!" His blue-as-blue eyes glittered with a youthful fascination, and he bounced energetically across the room toward our group. "Have you ever heard of Bernoulli's Principle? Or Newton's Laws of Motion? Physics is such an interesting subject, and I've been testing out all sorts of theories in here." Reaching us, he reached for one of the platforms, a wooden one with what looked like rubber grips on the surface. "Watch."

The boy climbed atop the platform, which stayed as steady as though it were braced on solid ground. As soon as he'd balanced himself, it began to move; it started out at a crawl, but quickly gained speed, until it zoomed alarmingly fast across the room.

"Bernoulli's Principle," he announced. "More speed equals less pressure." He curved expertly along one wall, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering in a highly exaggerated way. "Gay-Lussac's Law: less pressure equals lower temperature."

Without warning, the platform came to an abrupt stop, and the boy was launched headlong into the air. "Inertia," he continued, calm as ever, arcing high over our heads. "An object in motion will stay in motion—" he collided with another platform, this one bulbous and full of air; the breath whooshed out of his lungs with a quiet "ooph" "—unless acted on by an outside force." The platform folded under his weight, concealing him deep within the folds of rubbery material.

"Boyle's Law," came his muffled voice. "Less volume equals more pressure. Aaaand—"

Suddenly, he was once more propelled violently into the air; he did a full-on flip and landed, perfectly steady, exactly where he'd started.

"—Newton's Third Law: every action will have an equal and opposite reaction."

Stunned silence ensued.

The kid beamed.

We stared.

Then he doubled over, clutching his stomach with a grimace. "Ooh... And the First Law of Thermodynamics—energy can't be created from nowhere. Amycus."

The butler scurried forward, producing a wrapped sandwich from what looked pretty damn close to nowhere to me. The kid took it with a muttered "thank you," and ripped into it with a vicious tenacity.

A few noisy bites later, he spoke again (messily, with a full mouth). "I'm Alexandros, though Amycus usually just calls me Alex. You're welcome to do the same, if you'd like."

From the corner of my eye, I saw the bean sprout physically shake himself from his stupor. "I'm sorry, but...are _you_ our informant?"

Gulping down the last of his sandwich, the boy grinned. "Yup, that's me! I heard you guys over there a few days ago, when you came to visit my tree!"

"_Your_ tree?" It seemed Lavi had come to his senses, as well.

Alexandros shifted his gaze to the red-haired man, still grinning. "Yeah! The big black one." He pursed his lips in thought. "Used to be gold, though. Before I took that thing out of it."

Reaching around his neck, he produced a black key suspended from a chain. The engravings on it were gold, but on the whole, it looked pretty similar to the one I knew Moyashi had stored in his pocket. "I found this key there, and it tickled to touch it, and then the tree opened up, and I went inside, and I found _this!" _

Then he went digging around in his jacket, dropping a couple pieces of candy and some lint to the floor before he found what he was looking for. Triumphant, he pulled it out and held it up proudly.

Once again, every one of us was stunned into silence. I worked hard to keep my mouth from falling open.

"But... But that's—" Link stuttered.

"That's right!" the boy bubbled, then stopped, scrunching up his face in concentration. "It's Enn... Ilno... Innocence!"

As if in agreement, the phosphorescent orb of God Crystal pulsed brighter for an instant.

"It seemed to like me," he said, and hugged it to his chest like it was a fucking kitten. "When I touched it, it tickled a whole lot, and then I felt all warm and tingly, and suddenly, I could hear Amycus looking for me. But when I went back to the house and found him, he said he hadn't called for me yet." He hopped around obnoxiously, getting more excited by the second. I glanced at the old man beside him, briefly registering the indulgent smile that tugged at his lips. "I could hear people's thoughts! And then, I could suddenly move things without touching them! It's so cool! My experiments are so much easier now." Then, he stopped bouncing, a childish kind of remorse pulling his lips into a pout. "I just feel bad for the tree. It died when I took the I—Innocence out of it."

I was seriously, _seriously_ starting to wonder where the fuck this kid's parents were.

Lenalee walked up and knelt before the boy, voice gentle. "And you contacted the Order because you heard these guys looking at your tree?"

Alexandros blushed and gave a sheepish smile. "Well, I couldn't really call them myself. Amycus says I'm not old enough to use the telephone yet, but he was real nice and called them for me and told them everything. But..." His eyebrows scrunched together once more. "...I don't remember hearing you there." Looking up, he grinned brightly. "You're pretty!"

Lenalee blanched, but smiled easily back at him; Lavi shuffled his feet awkwardly behind her.

As if on cue, Alexandros turned toward the uncomfortable rabbit and considered him. "But you were there!" He decided. Pouted. "Your head was saying a lot of things I couldn't understand. You're real smart, mister."

Inwardly, I scoffed.

The boy's eyes found Link. "You, too! I recognize you." Another pout, this one deeper. "You're kinda grumpy."

The white-haired boy behind Link brought a hand up to cover his mouth, but his eyes glittered with badly-concealed mirth. Alexandros seemed to notice, and left Link looking affronted to turn to the bean sprout. His face fell.

"You... you got hurt..." His clear, blue eyes suddenly became liquid, and he stepped quietly forward, squeezing the life out of Moyashi's waist. "I'm sorry, mister." Receding a bit, the kid sniffled and looked up into those darkened silver eyes. "Is that meanie still in your head? The one that tried to get out?"

The room chilled. My muscles turned to ice.

At the change, Alexandros blinked, turning to train his clear, blue eyes on me.

"Why're you worried?"

I stiffened. Their eyes bored into me, all of them; pools of silver, clouded with confusion, probed for eye contact. I was frozen.

"You were worried then, too." He was a couple steps closer now. "Worried because he got hurt... But also..." Sad understanding dawned across his face. "Are you...afraid of that man? The one with the golden eyes?"

I held my lips tightly shut, my eyes thickly walled.

Undeterred, Alexandros tread softly forward, pulling me into a loose embrace; was he trying to comfort me?

"Me too," he said, his tone so innocent, but with a wisdom behind it that was clearly far beyond this kid's years. And he really was just so young, he must not have quite learned about boundaries yet. So while I was distinctly uncomfortable there, what could I do? Shove him off? He was just a kid.

A few awkward seconds passed, and then he released me, turning toward the group.

"...Allen, right?"

Churning silver eyes dragged themselves away from my face, instead focusing on his. The white-haired boy managed a small smile, nodding. "That's right."

Alexandros turned back to me. "Yuu?"

Uh.

Across the room, the rabbit exploded into shocked laughter; Lenalee recoiled in surprise, then grinned widely; even the bean sprout's smile softened as he chuckled.

My tense muscles melted, poorly-contained fury setting my blood aflame.

"Kanda," I corrected stiffly, though it was more difficult than it should have been to suppress the profanities clawing at my throat. My eyebrow twitched. Lavi was still in hysterics.

Pouting, the boy muttered, "I like Yuu better." Lavi only laughed harder, and now Lenalee was laughing as well. The bean sprout, too, looked totally unthreatened by the vicious glare I subjected him to, grinning unabashedly back at me.

And as though he hadn't insulted me enough, Alex turned away from my slowly reddening face, ignoring it completely. My cheeks burned.

Reaching out his hand, he declared, "Allen." The boy across the room looked perplexed (though still infuriatingly amused), but he crossed the room and took the proffered hand without question.

With his free hand, the little boy snatched up one of mine and tugged me unceremoniously forward.

When the room (a.k.a. Lavi) had quieted once more, Alex lifted the hand in which he held mine, using it to point at the mop of white hair in front of me. "Allen is not scary."

My eyes, having been narrowed at the kid in silent disgust, turned to the bean sprout. They only narrowed further.

"You tell him, Alex!" I heard Lavi giggle in the background.

Then, dropping our hands (but not letting go), Alex turned to the white-haired boy, and lifted the hand holding the bean sprout's to point at me.

"Yuu is not scary," he insisted.

For a moment, Moyashi was taken aback; but then he grinned.

"Yuu is not scary," he repeated. His silver eyes positively gleamed with laughter.

I glared. "Don't push it, sprout."

But, Alex interjected again. "You know what else is cool about my new powers?" he asked, voice reverent.

The bean sprout smiled indulgently at him, eyes soft as fucking feather pillows. "What?"

Alex's eyes lit up with his smile. "This!"

He lifted our hands, clapping my palm flat against Moyashi's.

My head exploded.

_I was traveling, lugging a suitcase around with me, with only my stupid master's golem for company..._

_...I was fighting akuma in a small town, trying to save them, but the townspeople called me a murderer, they turned me away..._

_...I was climbing a huge stone tower, on the last leg of my journey to finally become an Exorcist..._

_...I was staring up at the silhouette of a demonic samurai, standing atop the gate into the Order..._

...What?

_I followed the kind-but-stern girl inside, and she babbled in my ear all about the different places in the Order she'd be showing me. But the man with the long hair, he was turning the other way, he would leave. _

_I called his name. _

_He turned, looking at me with the utmost disdain. At my proffered hand, he merely scoffed, calling me cursed, walking away..._

_...He was there again, we had a mission together. He had no sympathy for my confusion, or my concern, or my ideals. They only seemed to make him angry. I decided that he was a real jerk..._

_...He said he didn't care, yet here he was, helping me, saving me..._

...I couldn't move.

_I rounded a corner, and there he was, glaring at the floor. He stalked along, impatient as ever; his coat billowed behind him, and the moonlight spilling through the windows caught the long, black locks of his hair, refracting explosively. _

_When he finally looked up and noticed me, he scowled. I scowled back, and contented myself with inward insults directed at him and his completely snooty attitude. _

_Once he'd passed, I glanced over my shoulder, watching him as he disappeared..._

_...We were trapped, clinging to our only hope of escape, this key that the enemy had given us. They all looked to me as a leader, God only knew why, but I was doing my best. _

_Even so, when he elected to stay behind and fight the Noah alone, I reacted without thinking. _

"_I'll stay too, Kanda!" _

_He was slow to respond; I was already dishing out plans and orders before he even said a word. But he told me no. _

_I should've listened, the others were counting on me, they needed me, but something in me wouldn't let me go. I needed to stay, I needed to protect him. _

_He threatened me, his blade cool against my cheek. Still, I hardly wavered. It was only when he summoned the bugs to chase everyone away that I folded. _

_The door was there, they'd all gone through. But I stopped, turned back. Told him to follow us, or he'd have me to answer to..._

...What...was this?

_When I stabbed myself with that sword, I didn't think I'd get hurt. It was an exorcising blade, after all, it would only harm Noah and akuma._

_Noah and akuma. _

_The pain was like nothing else, something internal, inescapable, burning, freezing, gnawing, stinging. I blacked out. _

_When I came to, he was yelling at me, calling me that humiliating name again. But I suppose it worked; it got me to fight back. _

_When the akuma's blood was splattered across the ground, and across my chest, I made sure he knew what my real name was. And when those deep blue eyes turned to me, it was like the whole ocean washing over my body, such a beautiful, cool blue. He looked relieved..._

_...I awoke, slowly, warm sunlight alighting on my face. I tried to remember the night before, but it was all fuzzy. _

_Turning to the other side of the bed, though, it all came back. Rushing, quick. Guilt stabbed at my heart. He was lying there, long, black locks splayed haphazardly across the sheets, how impossible that length was. _

_I felt a gentle smile tug at my lips. He looked peaceful, at least. _

_A sigh escaped me, and, hesitantly, I reached out, sliding my fingers across his warm, smooth skin. I knew I'd be dead if he woke up. _

_My hand slipped down his cheek, fingers burying themselves in those dark tresses. I marveled at the silky texture, sliding my hand slowly, all they way to the end. _

_When my fingers were free, my smile widened just a little. Some unidentifiable emotion welled up in my chest, leaving my speechless, overwhelmed. _

_Sighing again, I whispered to myself, "I'm hopeless." _

_Then I leaned down, pressing my lips gently to his brow, wishing for so much more. He hummed in his sleep, probably in annoyance. _

_With one final pause, I stood, disappearing out the door..._

It felt like there should be some kind of explosive movement, wrenching away from each other, flying back. And my mind did feel like it had been ripped off a sheet of glue, but when I came back to the present, Alex was pulling our hands apart calmly, placing them back at our sides. They seemed reluctant to separate.

"See?" he finished, awed. "Cool, huh?"

I was speechless.

For a moment, confusion swirled in my head as I stared into the clouded silver eyes of my own reflection. The clouds were roiling, constructed of bewilderment, of concern, of fear...

...No... No, those were his eyes, not mine...

I groaned, clutching my head. Squeezed my eyes shut.

"...Yuu?"

The meek, innocent voice drew me back, though my mind still stumbled awkwardly. The blue eyes that my gaze found were a little fearful, and I tried a little harder to compose myself, to reassure him that I was alright. Even if I wasn't quite sure of that myself.

I tried not to look at the bean sprout; my head felt like it was splitting, dozens of variations of my own face flipping through it like a card catalog.

"Hey, Alex," said Lavi, and his voice startled me; I hadn't heard him approach. He seemed completely unaware of what had just passed between the white-haired boy and I. "Did you happen to see the pictures on the tree when you took the Innocence out of it?"

'_Innocence...? Tree...?' _I sifted through my scattered thoughts, searching for some sense.

A brief pause, then Alex exclaimed, "Oh, yeah! With the little girl!"

"Mmhmm," Lavi encouraged. "The pictures said you could tell us where she is."

Alex hummed, concentrating. "...Well, not exactly... I know she lives near the other tree, the white one, but...I'm not sure exactly where... Oh!" His eyes flew open. "She's so far away, but I hear her so clearly! Her tree is calling to her!"

"And...what does that mean?" I croaked.

Lavi glanced at me, and I might've seen relief flash across his emerald eyes, but it was gone too fast for me to tell.

Pursing his lips, Alex concentrated some more. "I think... Yeah, she should be there in two days, around noon."

"You're sure?"

The boy looked back at the red-haired Exorcist. "Yup! Absolutely." He beamed proudly, and Lavi smiled.

"Thank you, that's all we wanted to know."

"So, Alex," Lenalee's smiling voice hummed, and she came around to crouch before the boy once more. "How would you like to come back to the Order with us? Amycus can come, too, if you want, and then we can keep you safe and help you learn how to use your Innocence."

The kid looked like he'd just walked out on Christmas morning to a shitload of presents. "Oh, that sounds so fun! I'd love to! Oh..." His eyes became distant, the wonder fading from them. "But... I don't think I can."

Lenalee's face fell. "Why not? We'd love to have you, and I think you'll have a lot of fun—"

"You should leave."

Startled hurt flashed across her face, and she rocked back on her heels, bewildered.

Lavi took half a step forward, voice a thin veil of pleasantry. His eyes burned with his protective instinct toward Lenalee. "Why, Alex? Are you mad at us?"

Whipping around, the boy gasped. "No! Not at all! But..." He sobered, shoulders drooping. "There's...There's mean people, and...they're coming here..."

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled.

Fishing around for some way to elaborate, Alex settled on, "Like the golden-eyed man! They're coming for you, and for me!"

I whipped my sword from its sheath, but it was too late; the sound of ringing metal echoed into utter darkness, and Lavi, Lenalee, and Alex were gone. Glancing around, I only saw a yellow braid and a mess of white hair.

"Allen!"

The girlish cry was soon followed by a small form soaring through the air, only to collide with the unsuspecting bean sprout, nearly knocking him over. A short girl with spiky black hair and striped stockings was clinging to the silver-eyed boy's neck, and by the look on his face, her grip was tight.

"Allen, I've missed you so much! I haven't seen you in forever!" She nuzzled her nose in his neck, not seeming to care that he was utterly stiff, a grimace tugging at his mouth.

"Mister Walker—"

I didn't even see what happened; one second, Link was glaring at the girl, a serrated blade darting from within his sleeve; the next, he lay on the ground twenty feet away, unconscious.

The girl slid from Moyashi's neck, arms still wrapped firmly around him. Her head wound around, sharp gold eyes seeking me out. I found myself pinned beneath that frightening gaze.

She pouted, never blinking once. "Well, this isn't ideal, is it?"

A sickening, sharp-toothed grin split her face.

'_...Shit.'_


	6. Chapter 5: Silent Night

**Aaaand another late update, because I'm incredibly forgetful and a ditz. But I'm a happy ditz, because my best friend's birthday was last Monday, and I spent the entire weekend at her house for her party (yayz~ 8D), and I'm a tired ditz, because track also started that same day, and they work us like animals, and it's soooo funnnn, but sooooo difficultttt... xD So anyway. Next chapter. =O The one after this is the last one~**

5 – His Silver Eyes, Silent Night

The inky darkness sucked in all light, shifting and churning like blood dribbling from a fatal wound. It was thick, muffling all sound. It stretched on indefinitely in all directions, but I felt so confined. My breathing was a little forced.

I scowled forcefully at the nasty little girl across from me.

She grinned, with teeth like a shark and eyes like a jaguar, gleaming gold flames in the utter black. Her arms were draped lazily across the shoulders of a certain white-haired Exorcist, claw-like nails placed carefully on edge across his jugular. The boy was grimacing, but he stood still.

The girl pursed her lips in mock thought. "Hmm... I don't think I've met you before," she remarked, voice slightly whiny. She exclaimed in recognition. "Oh! You were the one who killed Skin, weren't you?"

Gaze cold, I said nothing.

She hummed, prowling around the bean sprout, hand slipping sickeningly across his collar bone. "You guys gave us quite a bit of trouble in that Ark... We thought we had you there, but then you go and take out one of our own... And then _this_ one," her eyes sparkled dangerously as she smiled up at his face, "somehow _revives_ the fallen Ark..."

Her figure disappeared behind the silver-eyed boy's back, fingers slipping across his throat. She didn't emerge on the other side.

"...Kanda..."

Her breath hissed, warm, wet, across my ear. Whipping around, I held Mugen before me protectively; but she had already disappeared. If she'd been there at all.

"You're a very interesting person, Kanda..." Her voice echoed around me, coming from nowhere and everywhere, from right beside me and a hundred feet away. "So much vigor, and anger; and beneath it, so much pain..."

My eyes flicked around, trying to track her down, but I found myself alone. Even Moyashi had disappeared.

"Your past hangs over your head constantly..."

In the darkness, flashes of that time, those experiments, that boy.

"...but your feelings..."

A pair of slender arms snaked around my waist, one pale, the other pitch black.

"...threaten that stoic mentality of yours."

And it wasn't the face of a monster that stared at me from mere inches away, nor golden eyes crackling viciously. Instead, the face that perched on my shoulder was pale, ringed in crazy locks of white hair, a violent red scar slicing across the left cheek.

The eyes were silver, clear as a pool of clean water.

The next words that reached my ears were not from the lips of a demonic young girl, but were instead delivered on the same voice I had heard so many times, scolding me when I woke, soothing me when I slept.

"You love me, don't you, Kanda?"

Long, pale fingers traced lines down my cheek.

"You dream about me... Worry about me..."

The fingers trailed down my neck, across my throat, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"You want to be with me..."

A cool palm slithered across my chest, and the arms settled in further. I felt trapped.

Then, I felt myself turning, still confined within that too-tight grasp. The figure leaned up, face so close to mine that the faint breath hissing in and out of those lips tumbled across my own.

"You want to kiss me..."

The distance was closed, and those lips were pressed to mine. It was gentle, but confident, taunting. It was cold.

I wrenched myself away, forcing the figure back.

"What's wrong?"

Spinning around, I held my sword before me, steadier than a rock. A young girl stood before me once more, head tilted to the side, confusion etched in her stony golden eyes.

"I thought that's what you wanted?" she mocked, spinning around on her toes, as though she were in a ballet; I followed her carefully with my eyes. "You do care for him, don't you?

"Maybe you're the heroic type?"

I blinked, and the image was replaced with that of him, silver eyes gleaming with unshed tears, a black figure holding him in place. A knife glittered at his throat.

A thrill of fear shivered up my spine.

"K-Kanda..." the boy whimpered, a tear rolling down his cheek, across that vivid red scar. "Please, Kanda... Help..."

My buzzing mind settled. This couldn't be him. He wasn't so pathetic; he could easily fight off any assailant. And he certainly wouldn't beg to be saved.

"Or maybe your tastes are a bit darker?"

The scene dissolved, and I saw movement in the corner of my eye; turning, I froze.

Too much red.

He lay on the floor, clothes and hair and skin soaked in thick, crimson fluid. A gaping slash through his torso bubbled steadily, adding more and more to the pool of blood he lay in.

His body stirred; he coughed.

"K...an... Kan...da..." He struggled to move, trying to lift his head. When his eyes met mine, my heart skipped fearfully; the blood coating his face drowned out the brilliant silver hue, but even that couldn't explain the drastic degree to which it had dimmed.

I started forward, fear gripping my heart like a vicious iron fist. But again, I stopped.

This...wasn't him, either. He hadn't even activated his Innocence. The bean sprout I knew would have tried to defend himself, even if it was futile.

My shoulders relaxed, just barely.

"...Aren't you scared?" the girl's voice asked, for once sounding genuinely confused. I chose to keep my silence.

Everything disappeared, and I was once again looking upon the diminutive form of a deranged little girl. Her eyebrows were knit together, and she stared at me in confusion, and maybe even a little fear.

"Don't you care about him?" she continued, stepping cautiously forward. Her voice climbed in her desperation. "Don't you care if he gets hurt, if he _dies?"_

No answer.

Quick as lightning, confusion and fear were replaced with simple, cold fury. Her voice was like ice, just a low hiss in the silence.

"This is _my_ world." Another step, and it was like she'd stepped through some kind of barrier; her body rippled as it once again settled on the form of a white-haired Exorcist. The voice was once again his. "I have complete control."

He lunged at me, Crown Clown erupting from his left shoulder and encasing his body. His left fingers became lethal knives, each aimed, points glinting, at my heart.

I easily dodged the desperate attack, catching those black claws on my blade. Blue sparks played across his face.

Light flashed across gold irises.

I froze.

At first, he seemed confused; but then, a sadistic grin crawled across his lips. "Aah, I see we've found your weakness," he drawled. That voice, that stance, those eyes, it was all wrong, it wasn't him...

It wasn't him... It was...

"The 14th," he grinned, and barked with laughter. "He lives inside me, Kanda. He's always there, in my head... I see him everywhere..."

Thunder crashed overhead, and I was at the Order, in some corridor around the perimeter. He was there, just standing by a window, the rain lashing against the windowpane, water pouring down in torrents. But it wasn't the rain he was watching.

His face was reflected in the window, lunatic grin and demented, gold eyes flashing back at him, at me, with every roll of thunder, every flash of lightning. Behind him, a black shadow loomed, its grin wide enough to split its head clean in two. It had no eyes.

My head spun, adrenalin pumping through my veins, muscles quivering.

"His power grows by the day," he cackled, and the shadow behind him grew, bowing low over him, threatening. "He's taking over my mind, Kanda. Taking me over...

"He will kill me."

Something snapped. A roar ripped from the back of my throat, and I sprinted forward, full-tilt. Lightning rent the sky, thunder rent the air, and Mugen gleamed in an instantaneous tongue of flame. When I swung the blade, it sliced nothing more than empty air.

Thick darkness eddied around me once more, and I stood still, listening. Derisive laughter met my ears.

"My, you do get defensive!" the girl's voice shrieked merrily. "Can't stand the thought of it? Of your precious Moyashi getting taken over by a Noah?"

"And what?" It was his voice now, scathing, laughing. "Are you going to save me, Kanda? Are you going to kill the 14th?"

His face appeared before me, and that was all the warning I got before his claws tore into my stomach. I doubled over, breathless; the pain seared through my head, through my heart; when air returned to my lungs, it only helped propel the blood from my mouth. Helpless, I clutched his shoulder for support. Shuddered, knowing it wasn't him.

He leaned in and leered savagely. "You can't do it..." Reaching a delicate hand up, he stroked my cheek, the skin of his cursed hand rough, flakey. I could feel warm blood dribbling down my stomach. "He's tied to me now, Kanda... You'll have to kill me to get him out..."

I struggled to back up, to separate myself from him; but his fingers just burrowed deeper into my flesh, and I groaned as more blood surged forth.

He bent closer still, so close that his lips tickled my ear with every word that hissed through his teeth.

"...And you'll never do it. You can't kill me, Kanda..."

A chill crept through my chest, a slow realization. It dawned on me...that he was right. Whether I had the strength or not, I had no idea, but... I could never hold a blade to that bean sprout's throat. I could never steal away his light, drag my sword through his flesh and watch all the life and love and smiles leave his eyes. I could never sit back and watch that beautiful silver lose its luster.

His body disappeared, and I staggered, taking in short, ragged breaths. But my chest was still tight; it felt like the hand of God, slowly tightening around me. My limits had never been so plain.

A pair of black boots stepped into my line of sight.

"Kanda," his voice pouted. "You seem quiet. Something on your mind?"

Deep within my tight chest, something erupted in flame, white-hot, licking at God's hand. The fire raged through me, clambering up my throat.

A fierce growl rumbled from my chest, and I stepped forward, grasping him by the shirt, lifting his feet from the floor.

When I looked up at him, my gaze was colder than ice. Two gold eyes sparkled scornfully back.

I lifted Mugen, pressed the blade to his throat.

He just scoffed, grinning. "What have I been telling you? You don't have it in you to kill me." His face contorted into a mock-pleading look. "You _love_ me too much."

I gritted my teeth, anger roaring within me. A line of red appeared beneath my blade.

As the first drop of crimson blood slid down his throat, the smile slid from his face. Gold penetrated deep into blue, and for no more than an instant, his eyes went wide with shock.

With one last surge of malice, I shoved the blade deep into his throat, stony and silent as I heard his windpipe crunch beneath it. A screech like that of a banshee exploded in my ears, high-pitched and piercing. Dragging Mugen viciously through his flesh, I watched the light flee gratefully from a pair of wide, gold eyes.

I jumped away, and the body disappeared; my blade remained unstained by his blood. The shrieking continued, howling around me like the winds of a mighty hurricane. And then it _was_ a hurricane, the wind whipping across my face and digging its cold fingers into my skin, snapping my hairtie and tossing my hair into a frenzy; walls of swirling black were ripped away, and I found myself once again in a strange ballroom, amidst the wreckage of what used to be a dozen dozen floating platforms. Their remains littered the floor.

I swayed, clutching my head. The air stung my wound, and blood still oozed down my body. I knew I needed medical attention. Peering around, I searched for his face, desperate to reassure myself that he was okay, that he was safe, that I had saved him.

I saw Lavi off to the side, with Lenalee; both of them were battered and bleeding, but they seemed okay, for the most part. They bent over the unconscious form of Link, trying to revive him.

And behind them...

I sighed with relief, because there he stood, watching calmly as they tended to the investigator. His white hair was sprinkled a little with red, and his face was adorned with several swelling welts and purpling bruises. But he was there, he was alive. Hell, he was even conscious.

When his gaze fell on me, my blood ran cold.

Staring back at me were two dull, flat orbs hewn in gold.

It was then that I blacked out.

~*~

I awoke in darkness, and part of me started to panic. But I was quick enough to calm myself; this dark was calm, still, and the moon shone at least half-heartedly through the window by the bed.

With that obstacle behind me, I took a look around. It wasn't a room I was familiar with, so I assumed it was a hospital bed, or maybe an inn. The walls were shorn in cheerful yellow-and-orange wallpaper, dulled by the night, the carpet a clean tan hue. I was tucked into a queen-sized bed, with a warm, squishy comforter and far too many pillows. I decided an inn was the better bet.

Part of me was grateful for the silence, as it should have been. But another part of me was..._afraid. _Even though I was no longer trapped in the Noah's illusion, I was wary of the night around me, the utter black; clouds shifting across the moon blocked its light, and gave the darkness the semblance of movement. Even the ghosts of those images were enough to unsettle me.

Closing my eyes, I decided that my best option was to go back to sleep, and try the whole "awake" thing again in the morning, when it was light.

...But sleep wouldn't come, and the darkness on my eyelids swirled with a pattern even more akin to her illusion. Sharp glimpses of all the images she'd shown me kept flitting across them, each one startling me back to tense wakefulness.

Finally, I settled for just lying there, eyes open, and clearing my head of all thoughts. It ended up as some deranged form of meditation, but it seemed to work.

I had finally coaxed a little bit of peacefulness back into my mind when the door creaked open.

My eyes jumped to the door, somehow expecting some sick specter, or the shadow of a little girl in striped stockings. I relaxed when a mop of ivory hair shone back at me in the moonlight.

"Kanda?" he whispered. "You're awake?"

I grumbled something along the lines of, "Yeah, unfortunately." It didn't come out very clearly.

The white-haired boy tread softly to the side of the bed, peering down at me with worried eyes. "Are you okay?"

"...More or less." That part was more decipherable.

A relieved smile flashed across his lips, and he breathed a laden sigh. "Good."

An awkward silence fell, and while it did put me on edge, the edge was at least wider, less hostile than the one I would have been on if I were in the room alone.

"You've got two broken ribs," the bean sprout said, shattering the quiet. "Another two are cracked, and she bruised three of your organs. Then, of course, there's the gaping hole in your stomach, though that seems to be healing quickly."

I looked at him askance; why was he even here? "Should be fine in a couple days," I shrugged. Hesitated, then continued. "And who, pray tell, is the 'she' we're talking about here?"

His eyes darkened. "Road Kamelot," he murmured, biting his lip as he grimaced in disdain. "The oldest of the Noah family."

"Oldest? But she's just a kid."

He held up his hands in a helpless gesture. "That's just what she told me; I don't really understand it myself." Then, sitting on the edge of the bed, he went on. "She represents Noah's Dreams, so she can create a world all her own, an entirely different dimension, and she manipulates everything that goes on in it." He waved a hand vaguely toward me. "All those illusions she subjected you to, that's her power."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "How did you know about that?"

Here, I seemed to have hit a tender spot; he glanced away and muttered, "She did the same to me. Has done, more than once."

Silence fell once more, this one heavy, contemplative. The images were playing across my mind again, but slower this time, less spastic, less frightening. They still sent shivers down my spine, still set the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Those gold eyes, glowing, piercing...

...In contrast, the flat, uncaring ones that just stared, silent.

Yes, Road's illusions had been shocking, and yes, they had hit the nail pretty damn well on the head. But the part that drove it all home was that cold, flaxen gaze, so very cruel, and so very dead.

"...The 14th is getting stronger, isn't he?"

The words came unbidden, but once I'd said them, I found that I didn't want to take them back. They just hung in the air between us, waiting for him to take them, process them, respond.

Instead, he beat them away. "Kanda, it's okay. I can handle him." The smile that I knew he meant to be reassuring came out cold, and didn't even come close to his eyes.

I struggled to sit up, defiant. "He's been appearing more and more lately, and it doesn't seem like your attempts to control him are even making a dent."

His eyes flashed angrily. "I'm doing my best, Kanda."

"I'm not saying you're not trying," I argued. "Just that it's not doing anything."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? What would _you_ do?"

My mind flashed on Road's illusion, of him scoffing, asking me if I would kill the 14th.

"...I'm not trying to jump down your throat, bean sprout," I hissed angrily, "though if that's what you want, I'm happy to oblige."

He stared me down. "And why's that?"

Coolly, I returned his gaze. "You've been pissing me off lately," I said simply.

He laughed. "Lately? When have I _not_ pissed you off?" He stood again, stiffly. "You're always complaining, always getting on my case for this or that infraction; 'do this, bean sprout, do that, bean sprout.' It's like nothing I do will ever make you _not_ get angry with me, so why even bother?" I was about to enter in with some snide comment, but apparently, he wasn't finished. "And what's with the third degree all of a sudden? If I piss you off so much, why are you even asking me about the 14th? Why should you even _care?" _

My eyes, trained on his, froze to ice, and he knew he'd overstepped.

"Why should Icare...?" _'Why _do_ I care?' _My eyes, slowly, filled with fire. "Why should I _care?" 'I care about you, I care about what happens to you, I care about whether I'll wake up one day and find you've disappeared and that _thing_ has _destroyed the fucking Order...'

I averted my gaze, which now blazed with the full extent of my fury. As I looked away, I felt the fire dim, and the full weight of his question settled in. "Why should I fucking care?" I asked the blackness. The question slithered from my lips, met nothing, and fizzled out, unanswered.

And, really, why? What had caring for him ever done for me? It had gotten me injured, sure. It had driven me half insane, absolutely. It had turned me into exactly the kind of stupid, lovesick moron I'd always hated. So why _should_ I care?

Moonlight swirled across the bedsheets, the air heavy with things unspoken. Neither of us said another word, and after a few moments, he stepped back from the bed.

"Well," he hissed, the sound barely louder than a breath, "I'm sorry for bothering you. I'm sure you need your rest." He was totally closed off now; all he would show me was that damn mask of his.

But I knew him well enough to hear the hints of sadness, and even remorse, concealed in his tone.

Before I could react, he was turning away, walking toward the door.

I barely even hesitated long enough to make my decision; pushing the covers away, I slid to the floor, catching up to him easily with my longer strides. I winced as the movement tugged at my wound, but didn't back off. My hand wrapped around his wrist, tugging him back, and he half-turned to look without quite meeting my eyes. His gaze fell somewhere on the floor.

I just held him there, waiting.

Finally, he rocked back on his heels, resigned. Turning around fully, he lifted his head to fix those bright silver eyes on me. It was only then that I saw the confusion there; it whirled and tumbled, great and powerful as a desert storm. What could have caused it, I wondered?

"Kanda... What do you think of me?"

I blinked.

"I only ask," he murmured, voice soft, fearful, "because it's been on my mind a lot, ever since Alex shared his power with us... Ever since he showed me your thoughts..."

Oh. Shit.

"...and, it was just... Kanda, there was a lot of..._me."_ The look he gave me was so uncertain, so raw; this was his innermost feelings that I was seeing, it could get no deeper than this. I shivered, feeling exposed merely from this reckless trust. "I never realized how much... how much you think about me... and I mean, I just thought... that you hated me, but you... but..."

Finally, his courage failed, and he looked away.

My muscles buzzed with adrenalin, mind working on overdrive. I realized that there would be no better chance than there was now.

And I hesitated; I was nervous, my fingers were shaking. This was nothing like all the situations I'd imagined, that had been conjured by my sleeping brain. This was raw, this was real.

Finally, I steeled myself, squeezing his wrist just so, tugging him closer. As he spun toward me, I caught his other arm, and the movement felt smooth, so much easier than I'd feared. My hand went up to his face, now mere inches from my own, and I let my fingers trail slowly across his cheek, tracing his scar.

As my hand moved from in front of them, his silver eyes came into view, wobbling with the same fear that I felt in the pit of my stomach.

The hand I had around his wrist went to his back, pulling him in; my fingers traced his jawline, down his neck, and came to rest at the nape, my thumb resting on the pulse point there. I imagined that my heart beat at the same quickened pace as his.

Slowly, carefully, I leaned in. My breathing was tight, and my hands shook, and my mind wavered, and it was so much less perfect than I'd always thought.

And yet... as my lips hovered just above his, and our breath mingled in the space between, I could only think of one thing that was missing.

But I would let him know... I needed him to understand... He needed to know how much I... I lo...loved...

'_...God, I can't even say it in my head.' _

I ran my thumb down the small of his back, the touch gentle, uncharacteristically so; and I leaned forward, across the last distance between us. My lips met his.


	7. Chapter 6: Fragments of Light

**Here it is--the final chapter! =O!!! I was quite proud of this chapter, not least because it's at least 1.5 times as long as the other ones. xD Thank you all for reading this the whole way through, I'm so grateful for all the readers and all the lovely reviews! :3**

6 – His Silver Eyes, Fragments of Light

The sun blazed in the sky, almost directly above; little sparks ricocheted amidst the wisps of cloud on the horizon. Tendrils of its glittering light splayed across the water, and great, warm sheets of it lay across the bridge. I felt its pleasant touch through my uniform, through my boots. The breeze brought fresh, sweet air into my lungs. It felt almost like summer.

He was already on the bridge, his feet making soft _tup, tup_ noises on the arched wooden structure. I followed a careful distance behind, and kept myself to merely watching his stiff back as he pretended I wasn't there. His pace was slow, hand tracing softly the wooden handrail beside him; his silver eyes seemed to be directed more inwardly than at the ground beneath his feet.

My mind was all at once in a frenzy, and utterly still. I didn't know what to do, what to think. I just kept seeing him, in my mind's eye, the way he had been; and in front of me now, the way he was.

His chivalry was insufferable. He was always bitching and moaning about right and wrong, about life and death, about saving the souls of those godforsaken creatures we went out of our way to slaughter. It was like he was careening forward at light speed, lurching this way and that, thoughts bent on other people—on strangers, but never on himself. I had to ask myself, what was he trying to accomplish? Was he trying to be a better person? Was he trying to leave his mark? Was he trying to make every problem in the entire world right again, all on his own? With his lofty goals, he had this complete disregard for his own life—for his own happiness—and it never ceased to aggravate me.

So why did I care, I wondered? My eyes slid through mud to rest again on his rigid form. I watched his pale fingers as they traced unconscious lines into the railing. My gaze trailed down the sweet curve of his spine, and up along the smooth skin at the nape of his neck. I watched his eyes—or, at least, what I could see from where I was. They roiled and stirred like stormclouds, dark, heavy with rain. I imagined the sparkle, the beauty that would remain after the storm had passed and the downpour had rendered everything shiny and new again.

But who was I kidding? This wasn't something that would just pass, or go away; _I_ did this. I did it, and it was all my fault. No one else's.

I really should have just left him alone.

Still, I couldn't tear myself away, not this time, nor any other. I couldn't stop staring at this strange thing, this person, who had so much light in his eyes, and so much darkness in his heart. I couldn't stay my hand as it inched forward, seeking any contact with his sweet-smelling skin. I couldn't keep myself from rushing to his side, pulling him out of every hole he dug himself into. What was it about him that just wouldn't leave me be? Anything? Everything?

I wanted to move closer. I wanted to talk to him; about what happened, about what was said, and what wasn't. But I was afraid. What would it mean, if I let him know? If I let him in? What could I possibly have to offer him but a broken heart, and a wrecked soul? I was damaged goods; I always had been, and that wouldn't change. I'd been through too much. And I would get through more, in the years to come. I would keep fighting—would have to keep fighting—until the war was over, or the last breath fell from my lips.

And so I watched him, and kept myself away. I limited myself to thoughts of those scenes, played across my mind time and time again in the hours that had passed. And as he crossed that sun-drenched bridge, I let myself admire his reflection in the water. The pale luster of his skin, the smooth slope of his jaw... The contemplative tilt of his head... The white of his hair, the black of his hand...the red of his scar.

~*~

_The darkness rested across our shoulders like a blanket, heavy and still. Everyting was still; the darkness, the air, the trickle of soft moonlight through the window. He and I, both of us—we were still. His lips were warm against mine, and every bit as soft as I'd imagined. Against his back, my hand felt weak, on the verge of trembling; adrenalin pulsed through it with each beat of my racing heart. But I held firm. _

_It could have been a few hours, or maybe a few seconds. But he finally relented. His arms went up around my neck, his head turned for a better angle, and his lips melded easily into mine, like clay in the hand of a sculptor. He moaned, the sound soft and airy, sending a tremor down my spine. I breathed him in; that smell of sweet, sugary lilies, so intoxicating, so invigorating. I realized that my hair was still hanging loose when his slender fingers buried themselves in the thick, dark locks. As my wound was crushed against him, the pain was drowned in a wash of scintillating electricity. _

_Slowly, I leaned into him. His back flattened against the wall, his snow-white locks bunching up above his head as I pressed my chest softly to his. Against my lips, his churned, tantalizingly slow. His tongue rolled out to brush my mouth, and a single breath rushed, sharp, into my lungs; I felt him smirk against me. My mouth opened, and my breath came slow and ragged as our tongues danced together. I felt his hand drifting from my neck, his touch slithering down the length of my body, his fingers wriggling underneath my shirt to tease lines across my feverish skin. _

_The air I breathed was hot and thick. He receded barely an inch, and his eyelids drifted open, revealing the roiling pools of silver beneath. His half-lidded gaze smoldered, dark with lust. Clear as water, his eyes shattered the moonlight, scattering fragments in all directions; but not even moonlight could have made silver so bright. _

_Something in me snapped like a twig. _

~*~

My feet soon met solid stone, steps clicking softly in the silence. We passed beneath a familiar crumbling archway; the stone was still scored and cracked from all the blows that had landed there. That small skirmish felt like it had happened years ago, but it had only been a few days.

The ancient Greek style of architecture was evident here; no rough cobblestones or worn bricks to be found. Everything was carved from some kind of thick, sturdy stone, and carefully placed in beautiful geometric patterns. Every little bit of it was a work of art.

That part of it, at least, reminded me of him.

Not that I needed reminding. Aside from the fact that he was my every waking thought, and he held my dreams in the palm of his hand, he walked stiffly in front of me, leading the party at a brisk pace down the time-worn path to our destination.

The bright light of the sun, so free and open, glinted off his rigid form; but even sunlight could not tear open his closed doors.

This wasn't right. He wasn't the type of person who just closed himself off; if he had a problem, he addressed it. He had no regrets, but for those problems he couldn't fix.

What had I done to him? An ice-cold knife twisted in my heart. I kept my face carefully blank.

~*~

_My mouth was on his once more, harsh, fierce, and my hands wandered recklessly downwards, trying to get at the clothing that separated his skin from mine. He reciprocated beautifully, his breathing sharp against my mouth, his tongue clumsy as it twisted with mine, his fingers fumbling with the buttons at my throat. I lent him my hands, making quick work of the offending clothing before moving on to his. _

_While I was at work with his shirt, his cool hands were pressed flat against my back, his lips pushing into mine with bruising force. It was delicious, this desperation, the fervor with which he shoved me backward. My footsteps followed him easily across the room as I tossed his shirt to the floor, and my hands slid down his toned chest to rest on his hips. Simultaneously, I rolled his hips with my hands, and my own against them. His fingernails dug into the skin of my back, and his moan this time was low and desperate. The sound sucked the breath from my lungs. _

_My legs met wood with a soft _thunk, _and we tumbled backwards onto the bed. _

_His hands were frantic now. They periodically shifted from the button on my pants, to the skin of my chest, to the roots of my hair, as if he couldn't decide what he wanted to touch. His trembling fingers were cool against my skin, his lips wet on my neck, his body hot as the weight of gravity itself held us together—but it still wasn't enough, I wanted to press against him so hard that our bodies would melt into one. At this moment, with the darkness wrapped around us, I was feeling everything all at once, and it just welled up in my chest and spilled over, cascading like a river over a collapsing dam, flooding my mind with life and love and light. It was physically painful, deep in my chest, with that clump of muscle beating hard and fast, to try and hold it in, and it came out in the reckless groans and helpless moans rolling from my throat. _

_He rocked his hips against me now, rooting the movement with his hands on my waist, and I took the time to rake my fingers through his tangling white locks, to trail butterfly kisses along the pulsing artery in his neck, to whisper softly into the sweet-tasting skin along his collarbone. His warm breath rolled across the top of my head, slithering through the strands of hair there, leaving a layer of cool moisture and sending endless shivers up and down my body. And his voice, so sweet, so helpless, so desperate—the sharp hisses and long moans that enfolded indecipherable words and pleas. I could feel him unraveling in my hands, feel him coming apart at the seams, and it felt so raw, so real. _

_His hips rolled again, and I groaned, breathing fast as friction built between us. "Allen," came the moan from my lips, a mere trickle of that feeling that sloshed around in my chest. A rush of emotion came over me, a shudder, a sigh, and I said it again. "Allen..." My fingernails dug into his back, and my tongue pressed hard into his neck. It was like there was some animal need welling up inside me, telling me to take him apart, to consume him. _

_He moved downwards, resting his forehead against mine, breathing harshly into my open mouth. His hand found mine, and he laced our fingers together, gripping them tight; smoothly, his eyes opened, and fragmented moonlight washed my heart in silver. _

_His lips curled upward in a sweet smile. "Kanda..." he sighed, and his lips descended on mine once more. _

~*~

We passed beneath a familiar stone archway, and into a familiar stone chamber. Its boundaries were lined with stone columns, its ceiling lain with thick stone slabs, noonday sun spilling through the large hole in the center. The floor below was cracked, and protruding from the cracks were the thick roots that had made them.

The roots, of course, came from the tree across the way. Its appearance had not changed in the slightest; its trunk was still as thick as the average building, and as tall as a skyscraper—so tall it had broken through the ceiling; its branches still appeared like thousands upon thousands of limbs, as if the tree were writhing with some unknown pain. The branches were weighed down with countless white leaves, which sparkled eerily in the light of the sun.

Still white. No girl in sight.

Lavi plopped down on one of the roots. "Well," he declared, "guess we'll just have to wait."

Lenalee sighed in silent agreement, sitting down beside him. Link checked his watch. A head of white hair disappeared around the trunk, and I said nothing.

My feet carried me to the base of the trunk, where, as if by instinct, I grabbed onto the peeling bark and began to climb.

My movements were idle, and I stopped before I had even broken a sweat. But I was high enough now that none of them could speak to me without shouting. I'd also somehow moved around the tree about ninety degrees, so that the bean sprout's ducked head was visible to me below.

Watching him, I felt my expression harden.

I was despicable.

He was just a kid, barely older than fifteen, who still had that sweet, childish light in his eyes, a light that I had somehow come to look forward to seeing. I might even go so far as to say I loved it. The way that silver sparkled, even after all he'd been through, I should have known to stay away. I was toxic. Everything he touched turned to gold; everything I touched turned to dust.

Looking at him now, I saw that my misery had roped in some company.

In truth, I could understand his confusion. I had once felt the same way. And how was I to know what this feeling was? I had always shied away from any form of affection, of companionship; only those willing to hammer away at my barriers had any chance with me. And he didn't come off as one of those people; if anything, he pushed me away with the same force with which I pushed him.

Yet, there were those times, few and far between as they were, when everything was different. Just for a second, I felt like I could be capable of what everyone else had, all the talk and laughs and affection. Because just for a second, he opened up to me; he spilled all of his heart's deepest longings, all of its most debilitating pain, and it awoke in me a fire I thought had been staunched long ago.

He was broken, and I could see it. Clear as the sun in my eyes, the sky above my head; as clear as my own pain, I could see that his was a fractured existence. And for a split second, I wanted to help him. I wanted to save him.

For a long time, I wasn't sure what to think. Maybe the fact that I wanted to be around him so much—even when I tried my best to act otherwise—simply meant that I was really an insufferable hero at heart, and I was in love with the feeling that I could save someone, as low as I was. Or maybe I was just like everyone else, and thought that his light served to brighten my darkness, even a little.

I hadn't even begun to entertain the possibility that ended up being the truth.

"He cares, you know."

I tore my eyes sharply from the white mop of hair below, looking instead on the one person I least expected to see.

"What you think, I mean," Link clarified, stepping down onto a slightly lower branch. "He really does care what you think."

The inspector sat down a good six feet away, but his deep brown gaze bore down on me like it was only six inches. I looked away quickly, burying my gaze somewhere in the tufts of white leaves, stifling my shudder with a sharp, "Che, yeah right."

Link seemed undeterred. "Believe what you will."

Silence fell, tense and buzzing with electricity, as I waited for him to leave. But he made no move, just sitting there, so fucking smug.

I was this close to opening my mouth and telling him to fuck off when he spoke up again.

"I don't know what happened between the two of you," he murmured, "but he hasn't spoken more than three words since yesterday. And you've been more pompous and irritated than ever."

I snorted, catching the fabric of my pants in a white-knuckled grip.

"Just, whatever it is," he continued, and I could feel his eyes drilling little bloody holes in my head, "you should talk to him about it. I know that's not 'what you do,' but he really does care. What you think."

The way he said it made me think that Mr. Link knew more than he was letting on. I looked up at him, meeting his sharp gaze head-on, the grimace on my face only half-hearted.

Saying nothing, I averted my eyes, resting them instead on all those leaves, whose brilliant white hue reminded me so much of that ridiculous mop of hair, and whose radiant luster reminded me so much of those sparkling silver eyes.

As I watched, the white seemed to darken, lose its brightness. It went from being snowy and pure to kind of cream-colored, and darker, to a light brown. I looked away sharply.

But when my eyes fell on Link again, he, too, was staring at the leaves, a look of bewilderment plastered on his face.

Turning back, I saw that they'd only gotten darker, the color approaching a kind of ruddy black.

I jumped to my feet, eyes darting downwards. The trunk of the tree was cracking, in a big jagged rectangle—and then it began to swing open.

Beside me, Link leapt from the branch and landed on his feet on the ground below, square in front of the widening gap. I hurried to follow, and stood a few feet behind the investigator. A head of white hair bobbed into view to my left, stark against the newfound black of the trunk; a red and a green form came into view on the right.

And so we all watched as the door opened, and a deep blackness seemed to creep forth from within.

We waited, a tense silence weighing on our shoulders. The longer I looked, the more the darkness seemed to move, to breathe; I shuddered, willing myself not to look away.

Nothing happened. We stood, and stared. The darkness just swirled lazily in circles, making me kind of dizzy. No one came out. Nothing emerged.

A pair of gold flecks appeared in the black.

My blade was out before I could think, and beside me, Lavi's hammer was at the ready; Lenalee had jumped up, and was standing on air; Link had practically shredded his sleeves in his haste to draw a weapon. The bean sprout stood a little to the side, cloaked in white, face covered with a silver mask.

"Why, look, Lord Millenium," a deep, suave voice echoed from the darkness, and out came the tall, tailcoated form of a Noah. "A welcome committee. And it's just as well, for our two guests."

In the Noah's arms were the struggling forms of two children—one was Alex, gagged and blindfolded and bound, wiggling like a worm. The other, a girl I'd never seen before, was in a similar position.

As if in slow motion, a round form emerged from the shadows, and they seemed to swirl along after him like a thick black mist, reluctant to release him from their clutches. On his tophat was a large, grinning pumpkin, its vines curling around the structure like fingers of bone. The pumpkin's grin paled in comparison to his.

"...Millenium Earl," came the low, feral hiss. I turned; the bean sprout was staring at the Earl with a look I'd never seen on him, his silver eyes tinged red with pure hatred.

"Aah," the Earl drawled, laughter struggling to clamber from his throat, "if it isn't my favorite Exorcist, the one and only Allen Walker. Say, how's the 14th doing?"

The kid bared his teeth, like a dog on the hunt.

The Earl's beady little eyes slid away from that head of white hair, coming to a halt when they met the cold blue glare I hadn't realized I'd been giving him. My knuckles were white as my fingers tightened around Mugen.

"And if it isn't the young Kanda Yuu..." The Earl's smile widened, a sickening glint in his eye. "Road was very distraught by your last encounter, you know. She hardly expected you to be so violent." The fat man bounced forward a couple steps, twirling idly. "She thought she had you down cold... But then you went and slit her throat, after she went to all the trouble of dressing up like your little bean spro—"

A roar rent the air, just as I was poised to strike; I looked in time to see the white-haired boy careening through the air, eyes blazing, to strike at the Millenium Earl.

The Earl blocked the boy's sword easily with his own—the similarity between the nearly identical weapons was unnerving.

The boy's eyes flashed with malice...but was that gold I was seeing?

"Ooh, hit a soft spot, did I?" The Earl's smile split his face clean in two. "Well, allow me to hit another one."

And, quick as a snake, his hand shot out to swat the bean sprout right between the eyes.

There was a brief pause, and then he was soaring backward, his body hitting the tree with a resounding _crack_.

"Moyashi—"

"Cyril," the Earl intoned, unperturbed, "take care of the Innocence."

Quick as a flash, the Noah tossed the kids to the ground—to mixed cries of pain and bewilderment—and produced from his pocket not one, but two shards of Innocence.

And as we all watched, he crushed them between his fingers.

The Earl clapped his hands. "Hah, well, now that's all through... Cyril, if you wouldn't mind taking the young ones. We should be able to use them for our experiments—"

"Think again, jackass." Everyone turned with some form of shock. Did Lavi just _curse? _

"My, my," the Earl _tsk_ed, "such language. And with _children _around... What are you Exorcists coming to? Cyril, please dispose of them."

Cyril smiled broadly, and his kanines looked impossibly sharp. "With pleasure, Lord Millenium."

I held my sword firm before me, not breaking eye contact with the malicious golden eyes of the Noah. Lavi squared his feet, and Lenalee vaulted through the air to stand beside him; Link took a defensive stance.

But as the Earl turned to leave, a white blur appeared before him. Sparks flew as blade met blade, and the Earl sneered down at the boy standing in his way.

"Mr. Walker, while I do enjoy your company, I really need to be going, so—" But he stopped. And stared.

Because the bean sprout's eyes were gold.

'_God dammit...'_

The Earl seemed to falter. "...Hm. Well, I didn't expect to be seeing _you_ here. We haven't even tried to call you out yet."

The 14th didn't reply. He just stared, his golden gaze cold. Flat. Unrelenting.

"...I see what you want," the Earl went on, shuffling a little to the left. "You'll get your chance. But first you must let me pass."

The Noah didn't move.

Shuffling a bit more, the Earl tried again. "Now, I can see that you're not really feeling up to it yet. But once you've gathered your strength, and recovered all your anger, you will see me again. Then we can talk."

Not a twitch.

The Millenium Earl pursed his lips. "Hm. Very well. You leave me no choice."

He raised his hand toward the 14th, but it hadn't even touched him before he was hurled away. He spiraled through the air, arced back down, and landed on his head with a loud _crack_.

"Allen-kun!"

"Moyashi-chan!"

"Walker!"

"Fucking bean sprout!"

The passage having been cleared, the Earl strode off into the darkness.

I hesitated. Did I approach? If that was the 14th over there, he could kill me in an instant. But if it was the bean sprout, he needed help...

I looked back at Cyril, whose eyes and teeth glittered like a cat before it pounces.

"Lavi," I hissed.

"Yeah." A bead of sweat dripped down his face. " 'S alright, we got this. Go."

One last pause, and I nodded once, walking carefully backwards toward the limp form lying on the roots of the dead tree.

"Aww, leaving so soon?" Cyril whined, curling his fingers ominously. A sharp twitch, and Lavi, Lenalee, and Link were all suspended in air, unable to move. I felt a shadow rise up behind me.

I hadn't even turned fully around before I felt my feet leave the ground, and my body soared through the air until it was stopped abruptly by the trunk of the tree.

But I didn't fall; I was pinned there by a pair of cold hands. Two flat orbs of gold stared back at me.

"The Earl has told us about you," Cyril smiled, "about the two of you. How you both have the same _darkness_ in your hearts." Sneering, he crooned, "How romantic."

I might've sneered back at him, called him profane names, asked him what the fuck he was talking about; but then the 14th's thumbs were digging into my throat, and my vision was going blurry, and white spots appeared all over his face as he choked off my air supply.

"M...moya...shi..."

I clawed at his hands, like two arms of a statue carved around my throat—they wouldn't budge.

"And after all that," Cyril taunted, "what will it be like, to watch him kill you?"

"Fucking...bean sprout..." I choked, staring him down with watering eyes. "Wa...wake up, you...you goddamn...moron..."

But he wasn't there. His hands were ice, and his eyes were gold, and my bean sprout was gone.

~*~

_The blanket of darkness had settled down, covering the room in a pleasant warmth. Streams of moonlight sprinkled through the water droplets on the windowpane; it had rained a little while before, though I hadn't noticed. The way the water splintered the moonlight, it didn't even come close to the way his eyes shattered it, gave it life. _

_He was asleep now. His chest rose and fell steadily as breath hissed in and out of his lungs; in my arms, he was limp, relaxed. His white locks fell in wisps across his face, and across his scar, concealing the stark red from view. His fingers were still tangled in mine, arms wrapped tight around me. _

_Watching him, I felt myself let go—of the tension in my muscles, of the fear in my mind, of the sadness in my heart. Because here, he was asleep, and at peace. He looked almost whole. _

_I didn't even feel the small smile spread across my face. _

_Settling back, I held him close, wriggling down until my ear rested against his chest. I let the sound of his softly beating heart lull me to sleep. _

~*~

"D..." Air barely hissed between my teeth now. "D...amm... Dammit..."

My vision was blurring; my head lolled, I couldn't support it.

"Moya—A...All...en..."

As consciousness fled me, and darkness consumed my vision, he blinked... I thought I saw a hint of silver...

His arms began straining, veins popping out as he struggled to release his hands. Cyril held them firmly there, but they loosened around my neck—oxygen trickled back into my system, and my head became light.

Over the bean sprout's shoulder, I could see Cyril falter, the smirk on his face sliding away.

And then Alex kicked him in the shin.

He cried out, rounding on the boy with fire in his flaxen eyes. But Lavi, Lenalee, and Link, having been freed from their invisible prisons, all lunged at once. Alex leapt away, and Cyril took at least two hammer blows to the head, another dozen quick-succession kicks, and quite a few nasty cuts before he had the good sense to flee.

The Moyashi wrenched his hands free.

"Kanda? Kanda, are you okay? Kanda!"

"Sh...shut the h...hell up..." I coughed, rubbing my throat. The skin was chafing, and I could feel the bruises as they formed beneath the skin.

I looked up at him, and his silver eyes were whirring like little silver turbines, the sunlight becoming blurred with all the motion.

No, wait, that wasn't his eyes... That was just me...

I felt my muscles failing me as I collapsed to the ground.

"K...Kanda!"

~*~

_When I awoke, sunlight poured thickly through the window. The room was still, silent. Beside me, the bed was cold and empty. _

~*~

I rounded the corner into the cafeteria and took a full two steps before I looked up. As soon as I saw that white mop of hair, I wanted to turn around and leave.

I just stood there, staring. Thinking. There was so much that I wanted to say, to tell him. But how could I? He only asked me how I felt, and I...I just...exploded. I let everything gush out, all these pent-up feelings that I'd harbored for so long. He must have felt overwhelmed. I couldn't blame him for leaving. Hell, I would have left, too.

But that didn't change the fact that he had. He left. He got up before the sun, took all of his things, and left me in that room, sleeping, unaware. He didn't even give me the chance to properly explain.

And now he sat at that table, playing idle games of chess with Johnny and a bunch of other scientists, with that Timothy kid lounging in his lap. He had on his face a look of frustration, but I could see in his eyes that he was enjoying himself. He was happy.

I grimaced, grabbing the doorjamb, about to leave.

But then he turned, almost as though he'd sensed me there; he turned and fixed me with that clear silver gaze. As he caught sight of me, the smile never fell from his face. But his eyes, they sobered. They saddened.

I blinked, looking away. And I walked out.

'_What the hell was I thinking,' _I cursed. _'What the _fuck _was going through my head?'_

My feet carried me swiftly through hallways and passages, out the front door and into the crisp night air. I shivered in the chill, relishing the feeling as my mind calmed. I could physically feel myself settling, back into anger, back into darkness.

'_That's the thing,' _a forlorn voice echoed, somewhere in the back of my head, _'I wasn't thinking.' _

"Kanda?"

I turned at the sound; stony blue eyes met quivering silver ones.

He opened his mouth; shut it again. The silence stretched on.

"...K...Kanda, listen, I..."

"You _what?"_

He blinked at me, a look of shock across his face. But I was angry, I had a _right_ to be angry, and I could snap at him if I damn well wanted to.

I could see him grasping for something to say as he stepped closer.

"Kanda, I'm... The choking, I... I'm sor—"

"I don't want to hear it," I hissed, turning away.

For a long while, it was quiet. I almost thought he'd left.

But then there came an exasperated sigh. "You idiot," he muttered, and then I felt his hand on my arm, whirling me around—and his lips pressed firmly to mine.

I did nothing. Just stood there, a block of stone. His eyes bored into mine, searching, as he pulled away. The silver in them appeared bright with fear.

"Kanda," he said again, and it sounded so desperate, so melancholy, that I faltered a little. "Kanda, I'm sorry I did that to you... I'm sorry I let the 14th take control."

"Whatever."

He sighed. "You're angry. You have a right to be. But, Kanda... You know I'd never hurt you."

"I said don't worry about it."

Silence reigned again, for a time.

"Then... Then, about that night..." My gaze flicked back to him; he was looking at the ground, eyes downturned, sad. "Kanda, I need to know... What...what does this mean? I mean, you... You and I, we..." He seemed at a loss. "Kanda..."

"You _left." _I whirled on him. "After all that, even after I'd... I'd said..." Because I remembered it. I knew I said it. Those three words that I'd been struggling with since he'd first blundered into my life, I'd said them. _Finally, _I'd said them.

"Said what, Kanda?" He grasped my hand before I could turn away. "Because after you... After we'd talked, the next thing you said was...was my name...and, um..." He coughed. "...and then you lapsed into Japanese."

"...What?"

"...Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze; a bit of pink dusted his cheeks, and his silver eyes glowed in the moonlight. "I, I didn't know what you were saying, but...but it didn't really feel like it m—mattered, at the time, I mean... I-I was, and you were...uhm...a bit distracted, and... Ah..."

A bark escaped me, and he turned; I tried to stifle it, but before I knew it, I was doubled over in laughter. The sound of it rang out into the still air, so strange even to my own ears. He was wearing a look on his face that plainly said to me, "Where the hell did that come from?"

But really, how ridiculous had all this become? I was as bad as some lovesick girl on a stupid TV show, _pining_ after him for so long... And then I finally get him in bed with me, and I tell him how I feel, and he can't even understand me because it's in a _different language..._

He'd run because he was scared, but not of my affection. He thought I'd just used him for meaningless sex. I had to admit, it wasn't quite as funny as it was insulting.

Finally, the laughter subsided. The last time I'd laughed like that, I was bleeding on the floor, my body falling apart because I'd gotten into a fist fight with my best friend. I'd all but forgotten the feeling.

When I looked up at him, he seemed kind of scared. A smile still tugged at my lips.

"Y'know, bean sprout," I drawled, "contrary to popular belief, I _do_ actually laugh. There's no need to look like I just sprouted an extra arm."

He blinked, and the light in his eyes was so bright. Blushing, he turned away and chuckled to himself. "Yeah, I guess it makes sense... I mean, nobody really thought you could—" he waved his arms and gave me a look "—but, I mean, you and I... So..." At my raised eyebrow, he looked mortified, and only reddened further. "Oh, God, I didn't mean... Oh, God..."

Another laugh bubbled, unbidden, from my chest, and I reached out, pulling him close.

Stroking his hair, I whispered, "I told you I love you."

He pushed away a bit, looking up at me with an awed expression and wide silver eyes. But when he smiled, it was like the stars had all gathered in his eyes, like the moon itself had lent its light to his face. He pulled me in again, tucked his head into my neck, and breathed deeply.

"I love you," he whispered.

We stood wordlessly for a few moments, breathing the cool night air and listening to one another's heartbeats. I was the first to break the silence.

"If you tell the rabbit about _any_ of this, you're dead."

He laughed, sweet and melodic, and I smiled again, a quieter smile. His friendliness, his stubbornness, his laugh; all of it reminded me so much of him...

Of Alma.


End file.
